What the fuck?
When the FUCK are you supposed to watch The Prince Of Egypt? Do you watch it at Fucking Halloween? Or do you watch it at Christmas Or Summer? Are you supposed to watch it BEFORE On CARTOON Fucking Network?
🎶Money, it be comin' like a, uh, yeah (Money it be comin' like a)
Money, it be comin' like a waterfall (Water, uh)
Ninjas talkin' mean, but I can never fall (Never fall)
Yeah, uh, woah, way! (Uh, yeah)
Money, it be comin' like a waterfall, uh (Like a waterfall)
Ninjas talkin' mean and they want me to fall (Want me to fall)
I'm gettin' money with the money, and it won't even fall (Fall)
I cannot relate, uh, all you do is hate, uh
All you can't relate, uh, what the fuck is this, uh
But I'm eatin' cake, uh, where that ninja stay, uh
Yeah, I can't wait, uh, runnin' to the plate, uh
Yeah, I just ate, uh, woah! (Bullet!)🎶
As a music artist, I fucking hate chipmunks. Why? Because the ones I adopted cause a lot of mischief. Plus, they can fucking talk! The worst one is fucking Alvin. He has done far too much SHIT to the point where I wanna kick him out of my house including having a house party while I’m away, nearly killing me while having a concert, trashing my house with a lot of food and more.
You know what, fuck Alvin that fat fuckin' his other friends.
Anyway, I decided to watch The Prince Of Egypt at The Hub Network which doesn't even FUCKIN' exist anymore, because it scared the shit out of my when they showed the previews at the about Travis Scott Meal.
God those retard chipmunks. Calm down Dave, that’s not what you have to talk about Expect I Won't CALM Down. Anyways, I’m here because I have had a strange encounter with a fucking bootleg version of a movie called The Prince of Egypt. For those of you who have not seen or at least heard about it, The Prince of Egypt tells the story about Moses and Ramses who are brothers and one of them are separated to do other jobs such as Ramses becoming king of Egypt and Moses having powers that came from gods.
Well, I discovered a fucking bootleg version of this movie that my friend Dakota Fanning told me about. One day, I was just at my house hanging out on fucking Zoom with my friends who are named Richard Fatchurd, Princess Clara, Stephen Fry, Isaiah Vargas, Mr Hector, Asia Argento, Bootleg Splinter, Walter Big and Andie. We all had a discussion about how fucking chipmunks were a threat to me.
THAT was fuckin' disgusting. I got banned from the Walmart thanks to it happening.
I know the disease of fucking 2020 isn’t in my world but I like getting in contact with my friends by video call. I later ended the meeting so I could move on. All of a sudden I got a knock on the door. I was greeted by Billy Bob Tanley and Colonel Sanders giving me an award of 125 bucks I Told All To Get Fuck Out. I took it and I wondered what I should do with it.
Hours later, I made my decision, I decided that I should spend it on a few movies at a video store. So I did. 2 hours later, I got another knock at my door. I opened the door to see Dakota Fanning telling me about a weird version o fucking The Prince Of Egypt. I told her that I’ll check it out soon.
Later that evening, I was sleeping in my bed until I heard the doorbell ring. I opened the door to see the Ashley girls from Recess selling girl scout cookies at 1:00 in the morning. I told them that I am stuffed and they left. I went to sleep on the couch since I did not want to climb up any stairs Except I Fucking Trip.
The next morning, I got up and went to my backyard to shower by using a hose Except I Broke My Back. It’s a good thing no one sees me completely fucking nude through the windows except I fucking did. So I don’t get arrested Expect I Fucking Did. Anyways, I went walking down the streets and spotted some people at the bus stop in which I met some familiar people named Clock King, Neddie, Bobbie, Laura, Wes Anderson and Lori Loud And Of Course George Jetson.
They were on a trip to this place called Golden fucking Heights. I got on the bus with them and life was fine. I arrived at the video store minutes later. When I went in, I spotted a whole bunch of movies I’m familiar with including The Happytime Murders, Home Alone, Mr Peabody and Sherman, Flushed Away, Spider-Man and others.
As I browsed through the collection, I saw something that caught my eye. In the kids movie section, I spotted what looked like a VHS of The Prince Of Egypt Ü. However, when I opened the tape, I recognized that it did not have an ink or sticker label, this label was made with paper. I presumed that I was about to buy a pirated version of this movie.
I slammed the tape on the counter asking if this tape was pirated or what not. The store clerk who happened to be Big Pete said, “ Fuck No buddy buddy, this tape is not fucking pirated, It’s a whole new version of The Prince Of Egypt.” I bought it so I could know what this was about.
I came home after that. Sooner or later, I checked the mail and noticed that I had to pay the gas bill. When I got in my house, I felt the urge to fucking pee. As I peed, I saw a hand. The hand was opening the curtain. When it opened, I screamed to this weird little girl named Sofia who was apparently using my bathtub. She begged that I don’t call the fucking police. Now why would I ever do that? I wouldn’t call the fucking police on a little girl. The reason she was using my bathtub was because she felt like moving in because her family was dead.
I agreed with her deal and I let her move in. Upon looking at her, she looked like Jojo from Jojo’s Circus, or Baby from Five Nights At Freddy’s: Sister Location And Fucking Banshee. Anyways, I told her that I’d be watching this very odd version of The Prince Of Egypt. She asked if she could watch it too. I said yes and I inserted the VHS.
Instantly, the most OBNOXIOUS FUCKING SOUND I have EVER heard came BLASTING out of my speakers, nearly causing me to jump out of my seat.
What the FUCK?
The tape started with a commercial that had Morshu and Vibri doing the Gangnam Style dance. It was apparently a commercial claiming that you need to be at the oscars to see PSY bring back his famous dance routine.
Then it went to the movie, but however, the boy on the moon in the Dreamworks logo blew up into blood when the letter D shined and someone screamed "OH SHIT!" Poor kid. Sofia wasn’t even bothered. Then it went to the opening song which was fucking Travis Scott Meal at McDonald's. However, instead of the usual lyrics after they said mud, sand, water, straw, they sang it like a video game review. Here’s how the song went:
"Yo bitch, it's time to go bitch, To get the fuckin' Travis Scott Meal fo' sho' bitch With the mothafuckin' fries You're gonna mothafuckin' die When the barbecue sauce hits You'll take a massive shit Yeah the flavor never ends But your asshole will not survive the cleanse"