DaveTheUselessLover 1995, if you dare undo my edits, I will fuck you up! “stop editing this story with your own sentences” MY FUCKING ASS. STAY THE FUCK AWAY.
And Also This A Reupload By Me, But Different
Well hellooooooooooo nurse! Wait, I mean, Well hello there space ranger! It’s nice to see you for this story you’re going to read or hear. The name’s Rex, Rex Dangervest. I’m a lego figure who is a man in space saving people’s lives from lego asteroids. Here’s a question for you. Did you ever watch this show called Bluey?
If you haven’t, I’ll just start off by saying that Bluey is a very weird show in my humble opinion. In my case, the show is basically Peppa Pig but with dogs. It centers around a blue australian cattle dog named Bluey who lives with her family and her sister Bingo.
However, after seeing this somewhat amusing episode of the show, I somehow started to go fucking BONKERS. One day, I was in a Denny’s just drinking a glass of lemonade when this waiter who was Luca Brasi asked if I’d like anything to eat. I ordered some cinnamon roll pancakes with eggs, sausages, bacon and hash browns. Delicious in my opinion.
I was staring out the window wondering what I should do next after I finished eating until this scarecrow showed up and told me that the thrift shop across the street was selling Bluey DVD’s. I asked him what in the world Bluey was. I’ve already told you but the Scarecrow wanted to tell me all about it, so I let him.
After my day at Denny’s, I went to the thrift store to see if the scarecrow’s story was true. But before I went in, I met up with a baseball player named George Knox. He told me that an angel from heaven played baseball before and it was the craziest week for him. I then made my way into the store and found a lot of weird stuff such as a totem pole of General Asquith and others.
I met up with this man who seemed right-handed asking me how my day was. I was fine and I went to the VHS section where it had movies like The Simpsons Movie, Iron Man, Barney’s Great Adventure, Jurassic Park and others. This was wired because I think The Simpsons Movie and Iron Man were released later after the days of VHS tapes. They might as well have been bootleg tapes. I then saw what that person in the Denny’s was talking about. There was a DVD of Bluey in the store.
However, unlike those Peppa Pig DVD’s I used to buy back in the day which had a normal font. This DVD of Bluey showcased what looked like the fucking devil bombing the school that Bluey went to. Hmmm….. This looked interesting. I bought it for a good view. The store clerk was a man who wore something that China would wear back in the day.
He warned me that if I watched this DVD, I would have to start going crazy. I told him to relax. He believed me and told me to be careful. I drove back home to check the mail. It said that I owe the government over 123 dollars. Pretty cheap then I expected. I have a neighbor and his name is Hartley Hare. He once got fired from a puppet show after conspiracy theories state that he’s responsible for teaching children to be naughty.
What a coincidence! Anyways, I went into my house and inserted the disc. The first thing that came on was a warning screen with Freaky Fred that said, “Warning! This DVD will force you to lose your shit!”
The previews came on. The first preview involved people such as Gareth Eggplant, Blue M&M, Sam Bramsberry, Luna, Jason Teal and Samuel L Jackson doing the floss for 32 seconds. The advertisement was a commercial for a party game for “real men only”.
Another commercial came and it had Mr Parks (Vector’s dad from Despicable Me) discuss that he has diabeetus just like Wilford Brimley and how you can cure the disease.
Then it went to the menu which had Bluey and Bingo doing orange justice from Fortnite. I pressed play and it went to the intro. But however, the actors for the original characters didn’t speak.
...It was Gru from those Despicable Me movies narrating the names.
That weirded me out but I continued watching anyways.
It started off with Bluey at her school cafeteria eating a sandwich with peanut butter, bananas, bacon, jelly, mayonnaise and lettuce on it. That would have been delicious to make. She also had a fucking gun for some reason.
It was like that until a few bullies who were the junkyard dogs from Lady and the Tramp? They were also in the style of the show, despite not being in the same universe. I guess this kind of makes sense since Disney actually distributes the show in America. Now where was I. They came over to tell Bluey to give her the sandwich. She said no and ran off, but the dogs chased her. Bluey got away with it by hiding in the principal’s office. The best thing about it was that after months of bullying, Bluey should have 5 weeks off while the school does a stop bullying program.
Bluey went home and turned on the TV. She saw a commercial claiming that you could sell your soul for anything. The title of the episode was, “The Devil & Bluey Heeler.” The title card had a picture of what looked like... Barney The Dinosaur as a demon?
When the title screen faded out, Bluey said, “That’s it! I can sell my soul for a squirt gun!” But she REALLY sounded like a man. Then, “Barney” as the devil came in who was not in the style of the show for some reason and asked, “Is that what you wish for?” Bluey said yes and the devil gave her the select prize. Then “Barney” said, “Remember! The only way to use that squirt gun is if people are bullying you or there’s a fire.” All of a sudden, the fire alarm in the house went off. Bluey heard it and went to the kitchen.
She squirted it and Mom said, “Thank you dear! You are such a hero!” The devil got upset and said, “You’re not perfect!” Mom got angry and she said, “Well excuse me you dinosaur dressed as Satan! Why did you say that?” The devil claimed that Bluey sold her soul for a squirt gun.
It suddenly cut to a newspaper headlined “Bluey sells her soul for squirt gun”
Once the devil left, you won’t believe this happened, but the Mailbox from Blue’s FUCKIN’ Clues came BLASTING out of the door screaming “MAIL’S HERE!!!!!!!!!!” Then he claimed that there was mail for Bluey Heeler. She then took out all of the mail that was in him and Bluey said, thanks mailbox! And then Mailbox said, you’re welcome! As he went out the door. “What the hell is this lobotomy that I’m watching here?” I asked to myself. To my surprise, there was a letter from the devil himself. I’m gonna read to you the letter since I’m drinking a bottle of whiskey so here I go.
The letter said:
“Dear Bluey Heeler,
Because you weren’t perfect about using that squirt gun, I have sent out a few punishments to you. One of these include 6 nightmares about random things, and the other, a court session. I hope your family understands this. Do not sell another soul to me from now on.
Bluey then said, “Whatever! I just needed to protect myself from some damm bullies.” But things went all wrong. Later that night, Dad Heeler was putting Bluey and Bingo to bed. Bluey already fell asleep just happily resting.
When the light turned off, I saw that diddly damn monster from Courage The Cowardly Dog saying that Bluey is not perfect. After the nightmare ended, Bluey woke up screaming. Then she fell back asleep but to another nightmare. This time, it involved Bluey inside something out of the Reading Rainbow TV show. She peeked through the telescope and Levar Burton came out of nowhere. All of a sudden. Sonic the fucking Hedgehog appeared out of nowhere, but he looked fuckin' DISGUSTING. He had no gloves, shoes, or socks, his eyes were little sunken black dots, and his nose and mouth looked like that of a fucking gorilla.
"OW! OW! OW!" Sonic screeched like a fucking banshee as he.................ok he took a shit on the floor.
Bluey then screamed again this time waking up Bingo. The 3rd nightmare had various drawings until the final picture caused Bluey to scream so loud that during her scream, there were fire station bells going off. The 4th nightmare had Bluey walking with various people and animals such as Churchill, Pompidou, Joseph Green, Winston Big and Ashley Armbruster.
It wasn’t until they saw the moon from The Legend of Zelda. It came down on the people and Bluey screamed so loud that it immediately triggered Bingo to throw her out of the room. Bluey was stuck sleeping in the hallway for the rest of the night.
And then the 5th nightmare involved Bluey in a pitch black tunnel standing on a railroad as she hears the original Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends theme but slow paced and satanic echo in the tunnel. She then turns around and sees Thomas's face moving towards her in a fast speed as she screams in horror. She then gets knocked out by the cheeky little engine and falls into a trashcan full of arms. Bearing a striking resemblance of that nightmare scene from Toy Story 2. She then gets strangled by the arms as she cries for help. Then Big the Cat from the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise being the idiot he is looks down upon Bluey and says, “bye bye Bluey! he he he!” as he closes the trashcan lid. Bluey then wakes up in the hallway screaming so loud that wakes up her entire family and even her whole neighborhood! She then goes back to sleep peacefully for some reason.
And then the 6th nightmare had bluey in white room before siren fucking head rips the fucking roof off of it and hollered “TIME TO FACE THE FUCKING MUSIC, FUCKLORD!!!” Bluey screamed and woke up SCREAMING AT A JARRING VOLUME.
The next morning, the devil appeared again and the courtroom was filling. Bluey’s family was asked to come down for an important discussion. The court was now in session. As I saw the entire convention, I spotted some people including Billy Bob Tanley, fucking Pico, Charmx and Jimmy.
The devil started the session by saying, “Bluey Heeler, you have been accused for not learning how to use a water gun that has been given to you.”
he then said
”Because of this, you will have to spend 5 years in the dungeon!”
There was nothing that Bluey’s family could do as the only way to let Bluey free was to pay 99 dollars, but they did not have that fucking kind of money.
After that, it cut to the credits with a rap song playing in the background.
I HAD ENOUGH.
I had this shit dvd destroyed by burning it.
So if you ever encounter a copy of this dvd, DO NOT WATCH IT!
So long partner.