There were some sort of lyrics in a song from a video by Sony Wonder called Kids Favorite Songs 2. Before I tell you all about it, I know what you are going to say. You're about to say, "Where's the first one?" That's none of your business. I'm pretty sure the first one is on YouTube including the 2nd one.
Okay, So Kids Favorite Songs is from Sesame Street and was part of a 2 movie series. No! Not an actual movie! I'm sorry, I'm pissed after I saw a cursed copy of Kids Favorite Songs 2. It caused cartoon characters including movie you know whatever to come into my house.
I've had this strange feeling that it caused a imagination of funny-pastas from different universes. Here is my story. What's up, my friend? My name is Aldo. I’m bill’s friend.
I'm going to tell you my experience of a creepy Sesame Street video. One day, I was on my way home when I stepped on what appeared to be a copy of Kids Favorite Songs 2. I took it home unless it belonged to a old man who dropped it when he went to the goodwill store.
I sat my butt down and put the video in my VCR. The tape started with the warning screen and the Sony Wonder logo including the Sesame Workshop intro. But then something familiar happened. When the Elmo's World: Wild Wild West preview opened up. It was remade in shitty CGI, I found that very awkward but continued on.
It started out as the normal video would, except the color was distorted, and when Elmo got to telling the viewers about their favorite song, It immediately jumped to the song On Top of Spaghetti. All that was on the screen was Snuffy just walking down Sesame Street and not being interested in talking to the viewer, only there wasn't any music like there usually was. It lasted about 3 and a half minutes. It didn't show Snuffy talking about his experience with a fucking big fat meatball; I just assumed that whoever put it online had edited it for time or something.
The song is abruptly cut off as it showed a black screen. The next scene showed Elmo with a fucking Panzerfaust 3 rocket launcher sitting with the 2 girls that were in Elmo's moments of what their favorite song was. The strange thing was, all of the windows across Sesame Street were broken. One of the girls started crying. Very hard. But, it didn't sound anything like it does when a kid normally cries. It sounded like a fucking banshee. But it was still different. It sounded so real and intense. One girl was absolutely bawling. She started stripping her clothes off while screaming. Then, the camera zoomed really close in on Elmo's face, but it is the kind of zoom as if it was being video taped by a real person. Then, the camera zoomed out to show Big Bird hanging on a noose in the stairs to the 123 building. It was very horrifiying including that last one.
It cut to the Hey Diddle Diddle song, Except Edgar Turtle seemed angry and had paintings of dead people on him, Near him were some bloody footprints scattered all over. It zoomed into his eye for a split second then zoomed back out. Edgar Turtle said, "Hola! I want you to tell me where I can kill everyone?" Then he pulled out a gun pointing at the screen and said, "I'm going to give you five seconds to tell me or i'll kill you and your stupid duck friend!” Edgar knew about me?
I didn't think so! It was probably just a joke. But then he started coming out of my TV still pointing his gun at me. I shut the tape off and decided to forget about it. At least Edgar went away. He was probably invisible.
I turned on the TV to find out that Edgar was gone. So I put the tape back in. The next scene showed one of the kids talking about what nursery rhymes do at night. Instead, Elmo on one of the girls with a fucking Panzerfaust 3 rocket launcher.
Here's how it went:
Girl 1: This looks serious.
The girl then walked towards the other girl.
Elmo: I will kill you!
Then Elmo launched the rocket into Eliza's mouth. Blood flew everywhere.
Elmo: RUN AWAY AS YOU CAN!!! YOU WILL MOTHERFUCKING DIE!!!
Then Elmo was chasing the 2 girls with the rocket launcher.
Girl 1: Oh shit!
I can't believe they swore.
Girl 2: What is it!? *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!*
Girl 1: Oh... uh nothing.
The girls immediately ran out of the room. Snuffy noticed this, but Snuffy had a knife in her hands.
Snuffy: You alright little girl, What's the matter?
Girl 1: I have bad news, I'm afraid one of the girls on the street have...have.....
Snuffy: What, what is it?
Girl 1: One of them have Schizophrenia.
Snuffy: Schizophrenia? What's that?
Girl 1: It's a deadly disease that is caused when someone keeps being scared and angry at the same time.
I had enough of this garbage. I got up and smashed the garbage out of the tape. I sold it to a goodwill store and tried to forget about it.
My appetite was not in good shape. I ate some salads, Egg whites, Steak and ten vegan burgers. I decided to throw out my box of cereal in my house after watching this. To be honest the whole thing just made me sad, uncomfortable and nauseous. I had almost lost my love on cereal. I opened the fridge. A alive box with a pentagram smiled at me. It was a sinister smile, I’ll tell you that much.
Curiosity got the best of me, though. A few weeks of sleepless nightmares involving girls and the collective work later, I decided to not learn what the tape had on it. I mean It was just a tape, right? It’s not like when things happen in these stories and then later it really happens in real life I mean that never happens in these stories right?
I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror.
“Edgar Turtle.” I said. He showed up immediately. He thought I couldn’t see him there, but I could. “Edgar Turtle!” I said it a second time and he started to move closer. I decided not to say it a third time. I know what you’re thinking. I should have, right? Well, instead I made a sandwich. “Maybe you should consider a healthier choice.” A voice whispered. I mean it was him, he was right there, in the corner. Thought I couldn’t see him still.
He hadn’t even appeared. I found out that there was a camera installed under my desk and someone in a van outside had been stalking me.
I sighed, loudly. I ate my sandwich and went to bed. And when I woke up, There were characters from my cartoons and movies that I watched in my first part of my house. Yes, I know, you’re tired of this, well so am I. The ragtag collection of cartoon catastrophes were all standing in my living room. Simba was using my VCR player to watch a BIZARRE Toy Story Movie. A devil, and Thomas The Tank Engine was playing the knife game with one of the girls in Kids Favorite Songs 2?! Elmo and Jenny Foxworth were eating some BTS meal and smiling and laughing at me. and there was other characters like Gumball, Sonic, Spongebob and even more. The eyes of the many lost episode characters peered at me, stop immediately, and began to sing.
Times have changed, our kids are getting worse They won't obey their parents, they just want to murder and curse!
Should we blame everyone? Or blame Jim Henson?
Or should we blame the images on TV?
No! Blame the Ü!
Blame the Ü!
With all their beady little eyes And flapping heads so full of lies!
Blame Ü! Blame the Ü!
We need to form a full assault!
It's the Ü’s fault!
Don't blame me for our viewers! They saw the darn cartoon and now he's off to join the army!
And my boy Eric once had my picture on his shelf But now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself!
Well, blame the Ü!
Blame the Ü!
[SHEILA] It seems that everything's gone wrong Since the Ü came along!
[ADULTS] Blame the Ü, Blame the Ü!
They're not even a real myth, anyway!
My son could've been a satanist or a lunatic evil and bloody Instead, he burned up!
Should we blame the matches? Should we blame the fire? Or the murder who allowed him to expire?
Blame the Ü! Blame the Ü!
With all their hockey hullabaloooooooo!
And that person, Woody too!
Blame the Ü! Shame on the Ü
For... the smut we must stop the demon we must smash the laughter and murdering must all be undone We must blame them and cause a fuss Before someone thinks of blaming us!
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I yelled. “Get the fuck out of my house, what is this?” Christian, who played himself on doing a creepy noise. He stood next to a bowl of human organs. “All a part of a balanced breakfast!” He attempted to dive into the bowl of organs in a realistic fashion, but instead cracked his head on the bowl and table and fell on the floor with an apparent concussion.
“Haven’t seen you in a while, partner.” I leered up to see, horrified, that Satan, my old nemesis, was alive and well. “Keep your spacely sprockets in your pants, you sick fuck.” I picked up the crowbar from the warehouse.
I kept the scraps of the video in my closet and still keep it in there today so everyone doesn't see it. But anyway, I locked my closet door and emailed Sony Wonder, saying how inhumane to make an animation like that out of a children's cartoon. I also attached a duplicate copy by email. They actually told me that they made it in a secret room because they were having secret plans to make it into Kids Favorite Songs 2: Satanic Edition, like the others's fate was, but it got canceled due to negative response from test viewers. That made me ban Sesame Street from my friend.