Note: If you think this creepypasta is a rip of 'Caillou: Daddy's Secret' by assumption of title similarities, it isn't. Read the creepypasta for yourself before making prior assumptions.
If you watched PBS Kids at some point in the 2000s, there is a chance at some point in that time period that you have watched or at least heard of Caillou. If by some chance you don't know what it is, you're pretty lucky, as I will give you a synopsis. Caillou is a Canadian children's cartoon that ran from 1997 to 2010. The show's main protagonist is a 4 year old bald headed boy named Caillou and it details his everyday life with his family and friends. If you want my opinion on the show, I'll tell you that I find it very fuckin’ cringeworthy and annoying, especially the episode with the circus. Then again, the show's age demographic is for very young kids, so pretty much not meant for my age demographic in the first place, y’know?
Anyways, besides that fuckin’ bull-SHIT, there is something very strange with one of Caillou's family members. That character I am referring to would be his younger sister Rosie. What the fuck is strange about Rosie, you may ask? Well fair enough i'll tell you, it's her hair color, which is red, while the hair color of both her parents Doris and Boris are brown. Do you find that odd? SUS maybe? If you're wondering might that be, well, after the experience I just had prior to wiring this, there may be an answer being hidden away.
The evidence to Rosie's red hair comes from an unlisted episode from the series that somehow made its way to The Pirate Bay. The file's title went under the name of "Caillou: Mommy's Ü (Unofficial episode)". When I originally came across this torrent, by its name alone, I thought it could be something extremely rare, or just some fan animation made by someone. I wanted to know what the U thing meant, so I clicked the download button out of curiosity and opened up the avi file.
To my surprise, it wasn't a fan animation, as the show's regular intro played in the background (the one from the later series to be exact), but instead of the normal music, the song was replaced with a song promoting the fucking McDonald’s Travis Scott Meal. The song went something like this:
"Yo bitch, it's time to go bitch, to get the fuckin' Travis Scott Meal fo' sho' bitch with the mothafuckin' fries You're gonna mothafuckin' die When the barbecue sauce hits, You'll take a massive shit Yeah the flavor never ends but your asshole will not survive the cleanse”
This didn’t make any fucking sense, considering the Travis Scott Meal was first debuted in McDonald's in 2020.
The title card read "Mommy's Secret", which shows Caillou's mother hugging a man with the same hair color as Rosie. He had a yellow jacket, with a red shirt under the unzipped jacket, blue jeans, and black shoes.
The episode started off with a view of Caillou's house as the Grandmother narrator states: "It was just a regular Monday morning at Caillou's house. Caillou was just about ready to head to preschool." Doris is then seen and the kitchen as she yelled for Caillou to come down. Caillou came down ready to go. She gave Caillou his lunch and they drove off. She then dropped of Caillou at his preschool, telling him "Have a good day at preschool Caillou!". Just before she got back in her car, her cellphone rang. She answered it. The call went like this: "Hello? Oh, Phillip! How are Ü doing? That's great to hear! When will Ü be over? Noon? Good, I'll be home around that time. Goodbye!" As far as I could remember, there had been no character on the show by the name of Phillip.
The scene then cuts to home, where Doris was making herself lunch. Her husband Boris was absent from the home, as he was at work. A knock on the door is heard and she went to check who was there. It was the same guy from the title card I had seen earlier. She welcomed the man who was revealed to be Phillip and hugged him. Phillip then asks Doris "Well, ready to do it?" Doris responded with a yes, as they made their way upstairs. I didn't know what the two were going to do, until they made their way to the upstairs bedroom. That is when it showed Phillip taking off his jacket and shirt, becoming topless as a result. At that moment, I knew they were going to have an affair while Boris and Caillou were away. It is unclear where Rosie was at this time, most likely downstairs or in her room from my first assumptions.
We then see a video of FUCKING FLAIN FROM MIXELS throwing up gang signs and screaming “OH FUCK YEAH” while spilling shitty BBQ sauce.
What the fuck? PBS didn’t make Mixels.
The scene then transferred to an office where Boris is working on some sort of document. The telephone beside the computer suddenly rang and Boris answered it. It was from Caillou's teacher Miss Martin. Boris' phone call went like this: "Hello? Oh, hey Miss Martin, is Caillou ok? What? He threw up? Okay, I'll be there to pick him up shortly. Bye." Boris then went to his boss (a man in his late 60s) and explained that his son had vomited while at preschool and needed to be picked up. Feeling sympathetic to his cause, he then dismissed Boris, who then made way to the preschool to pick up an ill feeling Caillou. After picking him up, Boris asked Caillou, "So, what the fuck happened, Caillou?" Caillou responded with "Well, just after having my lunch, my tummy felt like ass. Then I went to the bathroom, and I threw up. A lot." Boris responded with "Oh dear, must be food poisoning, I suppose." They then arrive home, where Boris asked for Doris. She didn't respond. As he entered the living room however, he heard a faint moaning sound from what must have come from upstairs. A suspicious look creeped across Boris' face, and he went up to the bedroom. When he entered, his expression changed from suspicion to that of a mixture of shock and disgust.
There he saw his wife and Phillip doing it under the covers. Boris' expression changed again, this time to that of evilness. He then ran and leaped onto the bed where he kicked Phillip in the face and left rib, causing him to fall of the bed. For a second it showed Phillip naked, behind him of course. Phillip hit the ground quite hard and his nose even bled a bit. An angry Boris pointed at Phillip, demanding his name and what he was doing with his wife. Phillip then got himself back up (not showing his naked body of course) and told Boris he was "cucking him out". When he said that, I just burst out laughing.
The two kept arguing for a few seconds when it then cut to Rosie's room. She was playing with some toys when she heard her dad and Phillip arguing a few rooms down the hall. Confused, she left her room and went to her parents bedroom to see what was going on. She opened the door and saw her dad and a man she didn't know arguing. They both heard the door creak open and looked down at Rosie. Phillip then smirked and told Boris: "You see that so called daughter of yours? Well guess what? I'm the daddy! Does the hair color not prove so? You're pathetic."
Boris then looked at his wife and asked her "Is he right? Is he Rosie's real father?" Doris, who was still covered under the sheets and looking panicked sighed and reluctantly responded "Yes, I've been banging with him since Caillou was one year old." Phillip, who had dressed himself back up at this point tried to escape, but Boris grabbed him by his shirt's collar and threatened Phillip with: "Listen, if I ever see you near this property again, it will be the last thing you will ever do. And let me tell you, what will happen to you afterwards won't be pretty Understand? Now get out!" Phillip then ran out of the house. Boris then looked at his wife, who had remained still in the bed. He stated: "You know Doris, I considered giving you a second chance for a moment. But after realizing you've been banging with another man for the past three years, you've gone at least a million steps too far. I'm calling for a divorce lawyer!"
The scene cut to the house at night. The narrator stated: "It had been weeks since Caillou's mommy and daddy had their divorce. As a result, Mommy and Rosie had been kicked out by Daddy. Daddy felt that Caillou needed a new mommy to replace her original one. Caillou would be meeting Daddy's new girlfriend tonight and he was very excited" Boris was in the living room talking to Caillou. He told him: "Well Caillou, after Mom and Rosie have left, we are having a new member in this house. My new girlfriend Jenny. She's a fitness instructor I met at the gym about two weeks ago. Don't worry, she's a very nice lady and she gets along very well with children." A knock was then heard. Boris excitedly stated "Oh look, she's here!" He opened the door to Jenny, a somewhat sexy looking blonde haired girl, with pretty big cleavage, a green fitness tank top, and blue exercise pants. She hugged Caillou and then went to hug Boris. The funny thing about this part was what Jenny referred to her new boyfriend as sugar daddy while Boris referred to her as sugar baby. Caillou then asked Jenny if she wanted to see his toys. She said yes and they made their way to the playroom. Caillou showed Jenny his toys. Jenny (who seemed to get along really well with children), played with Caillou.
The shot then cuts to a window outside. Night had already fallen. Outside was Doris with Rosie. Doris glared at Caillou and Jenny playing with toys from the outside. She then mutters the words "Someday, someday, someday. I'll fucking get you Boris! I will get Caillou back. Just you wait..." The episode ended from there as it went to the credits.
But that wasn’t the credits…
That was fake…
A title card that said “SONIC Ü” appeared.
We begin with a view of the island sonic comes from, as some weird rap song began playing.
We see sonic doing his usual stuff. You know, speeding around and all that.
But then I realized.
It wasn’t sonic.
It couldn’t be... but it was.
It was THE FUCKING BABY EINSTEIN BLUE GOAT PUPPET?!
The goat puppet was chugging some weird pills as he was speeding around the island before a MASSIVE monster truck CRUSHED him to a fucking death metal version of Let's Go (We're Riding In The Big Red Car) by The Wiggles.
We see sonic... the normal one this time.
Suddenly, the same monster truck from before came falling, and from it came...
I shit you not, Mighty the FUCKING armadillo from that sonic arcade game.
”Hey son-ass. Been a while, hasn’t it?” Said mighty. “You might wanna look behind you.”
And then the footage cuts out and the video ends.
After finishing the episode, difficult questions filled my mind. Had Doris really been that dissatisfied with her husband to the point of cheating on him just to get sex? How did Boris not come to the earlier suspicion of Rosie's hair color? So many questions about this that I feel I will never get a fucking answer to, simply for the fact that there are zero fucking answers.