Written by Oliver Charles/Bruno Tattagllia

I got something to tell ya. I got something to say. I'm going to mail some letters to Santa, and they're gonna be there by six. Oh! Sorry folks, I didn't see you watching me from afar on that small street corner. Now let me ask you a question: have you ever watched The Simpsons? Okay, now let me ask you another question, have you ever played any of the countless video games based on the popular cartoon family? You must have played at least one of these because there are so damn many of them. I'm mean seriously there's some real stinkers like Simpsons Skateboarding and Simpsons Wrestling, but then you get some real gems like Simpsons Road Rage and The Simpsons Game. However, many people myself included believe that the best Simpsons game of all time is none other than The Simpsons Hit & Run.

The Simpsons Hit & Run is essentially a child friendly version of Grand Theft Auto, and one of the best TV tie in games right next to SpongeBob Battle For Bikini Bottom, Shrek 2 on Xbox, and Bee Movie The Video Game. Now, I myself am a HUGE fan of The Simpsons, and own loads of Simpsons merchandise including video games, DVD's,

The Simpsons Hit & Run

shirts, and even Simpsons themed hair dryers which blow out steam from the steamed clams we're having mm steamed clams. I guess I should probably explain some things though, I am a huge fucking butterfly bee hybrid with a serious addiction to pizza. Please don't laugh, because this is not a joke you fucking toe rag. This is serious.

There was a time when I was a honest factory worker who owed allegiance to my boss Mr Parks. I was also a big fan of bread, and was one day planning on buying my own bakery. This dream was however shattered into a million tiny bite size pieces after two evil ducks forced me to eat some pizza. "Eat the pizza ya wee prick." One of the ducks said as she shoved the pizza right up to my disgusting fly face. I looked the pizza over, and my proboscis flew out of my mouth and began sucking up the pizza. Oh man it tasted so good, and from that pint on, I became a regular visitor to the local pizza shop which was ran by the two evil ducks. I bought so much pizza, and that as time passed by, I eventually became known as their number one customer. This caused me to abandon my plans to build a bakery, as I became solely loyal to pizza. This disgusted my dear friend John Barbecue Crisps.

John Barbecue Crisps owns a bakery located on Lyman Street, and is also a hardcore criminal as he runs a small but extremely profitable smuggling ring. He often smuggles hot sweet dough out of the country, and into Empire Bay and as far north as Frisco. John was very sensitive when it came to his bread, and was unable to stand it if someone disliked it. One time, a customer complained about some bread tasting powdery which caused John to shout, "oh shut the fridge up!" He then proceeded to leap on top of the customer crushing them to death in the process. Now, John was disgusted with my pizza addiction, and he tried his best to file a formal complaint to the pizza store, but the two evil ducks refused to take any of his pleas seriously. They were just a little too respectful for that know what I mean? Crisps then decided that he would take me into the city for a day out so I could hopefully get my mind off damn pizza. It's a hard worthy task, but I just hope that it's enough to sail a hero's trophy. Know what I mean?

We caught the tube into the city, and arriving in Central, we decided to take a quick de-tour through a small video game store. The store was located at the very end of the street, and the windows were pitch black. The door was brown like mud, and there was a snowman standing outside the door acting as an enforcer of some kind. John and I attempted to make our way inside the store only to get jumped at by the snowman who screamed, "boo!" John responded to this by beating the snot out of the snowman with a frying pan. Where had he been keeping that frying pan? Well my friends perhaps it's better that the world never knows, and you know what they say all toasters toast bread! It's bread okay!? It's not toast! Toast is what comes out of the toaster!

I'm getting distracted. Sorry about that. So, we both made our way inside the store, and saw the store hosted a plethora of classic videos game ranging from the Nintendo Entertainment System all the way up to the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. Also, for some reason, they had no ps4 or Xbox One games, but I took this to be just another sign of the times. It's just another sign of the times Miss Jones! Now, what caught my insect eye was that right at the very back of the store sat a copy of The Simpsons Hit & Run for GameCube. It was right at the very back, and sat next to some really nasty and cringey plush toys including one which was shaped like a green pepper for some reason. I needed that game so I flow towards it as flies tend to do ya know buddy? I picked the game up, and began sniffing it. My eyes began to water. It didn't smell right. No, it smelled really rotten, and in a curious sense it smelt like mouldy cheese. Now you're probably wondering why I'm bothering to buy this game, since as I stated earlier that The Simpsons Hit & Run is my favourite Simpsons game, well it's because I sold my one and only copy so I could buy more pizza. So sad.

I took the game up to the front desk, and paid for the item. It cost £10. Also, I should mention that I keep my money stored in my proboscis, which meant that all my money was incredibly sticky. They stuck to the table as the front desk manager appeared on the scene. It was... oh my gosh it was the same old crusty dog who runs the local jewellers. "Hey where is the cashier?" I asked curiously. "He's quite dead... as a doornail." The front desk manager responded. He was quite a cynical dog who was plotting to get revenge on Mickey Mouse, but we've already discussed it on a chilly night in October. Oh Chilly Charlie! Suddenly, the manager's eyes became sly as he said, "sit down at my table, and stick that sucker in." "Well okay." I said as we made our way inside the backroom which is where the manager slept. The manager didn't have a home anymore, as he had become so focused on his plot to get revenge on Mickey Mouse, that he completely forgotten to pay the bills. Perhaps society is to blame, though in reality that piece of shit mouse is the true villain of the piece.

Inside the backroom, there was a large flatscreen TV, and underneath sat a purple GameCube. I stuck that sucker right into the GameCube, and the disc caused the console to make horrifying sounds. It sounded like the time someone farted into a megaphone while at the airport which caused an elderly couple to pull incredibly cynical faces. Oh it's so cynical to makes my antennas itch ya know buddy? I clutched the controller tightly as the game started by showing the opening cutscene which had Kang and Kodos releasing the spy cameras into Springfield. Also, before we get into the real meat and potatoes of the story at hand, I should probably mention that I will not be discussing the game's plot, because to be honest if you don't know the plot then why the fuck are you reading this story in the first place buddy? Anyways, now that little rant is finally out of my buggy system let's talk about the game.

Homer was shown sitting on the couch watching an advert for Buzz Cola. However, Krusty The Clown who was in the advert didn't look right. His eyes were 1% bigger than normal, and his hair was red instead of blue. This caused John Barbecue crisps to ran out of the room in fear. The cutscene played like normal aside from that difference with Krusty advertising Buzz Cola which of course leads to Homer wanting to buy some. Outside the Simpson house, the game started by showing the tutorial. Oh, I tried my best to skip it. but the game just wouldn't let me skip it for some reason. Also, instead of Bart giving me the tutorial it was none other than Morgan Freeman. "Well brother if you had an ark you'd have a place to put them all." Morgan Freeman said as Homer began speaking with Marge. Marge was acting very strange as she ordered Homer to set fire to the Kwik-E-Mart. "What why?" Homer asked as Marge responded with, "what kind of asshole company refuses to give a hard working journalist an exclusive?" Well that didn't sound anything like Marge, and Homer simply responded to this by saying, "oh alrighty then."

So, I began driving towards the Kwik-E-Mart. Arriving at the Kwik-E-Mart, a small cutscene played which had Apu and his brother Sanjay standing on top of the store holding shotguns. They knew fully well why Homer had come there, and they were trying their best to keep him from burning the store down. Homer was then forced to head to Herman's shop where he bought some Molotov cocktails, and after buying the cocktails, I once again made my way back to the Kwik-E-Mart. "Oh no!" Apu cried in despair as Homer threw the cocktails at the store which caused it to burn to the ground. Homer laughed a mighty sailor's chuckle, as he was then shot at by Apu and Sanjay who had managed to survive the fire. "Mr Simpson you are going to pay for this!" Apu yelled as he managed to shoot a shotgun shell right into Homer's rear view mirror. Homer didn't care, and instead busied himself by making his way back to the Simpsons household.

At the Simpsons house, Marge then ordered Homer to speak with Ned Flanders. Upon speaking with Flanders, Homer was dismayed to learn that Flanders had hired police detectives to look for all the items that Homer had 'borrowed,' from him. Homer was then forced to go around town to collect all the items, before the police came a knocking on his front door. Sadly, the controls were terrible, and they to put it bluntly controlled like ass. Homer's car kept sliding violently across the road as if it was on ice or something, and there were pedestrians all over the road. This meant that I was constantly getting Hit & Runs, but I couldn't do anything to remedy the situation as I didn't make the bloody game now did I? So, the time limit for the stage ended up running out, and I was unable to collect any of Flanders' possessions. I headed back to see Flanders, and he was very cross. I mean proper cross. More cross than I had ever seen him. Flanders grabbed Homer by the neck, and lifted him high up into the air. "You fucked with the wrong guy Homer!" Ned yelled as he threw Homer across the street. Homer flew for hours upon hours until he eventually crash landed right outside the Springfield Powerplant.

While at the Springfield Powerplant, Homer turned off all the cameras so that he could sleep on the job in peace as normal. He did all of this only for Mr Burns to then say that work was cancelled for the day. Annoyed beyond any reasonable measure, Homer tried to take his mind off things by heading to Moe's Tavern. However, Moe was very rude to Homer, as he had heard all about what Homer had done to the Kwik-E-Mart. Moe then pulled out a bulldozer from his pocket, and he began chasing after Homer. Homer raced outside onto the busy streets, and jumped into his car. Moe gave chase to Homer, and civilians were getting run over left and right. Now he come he isn't getting any Hit & Run's for that huh? If that was me doing all that carnage you bet your bottom dollar I'd be getting some Hit & Run's, or in the very least a cease and desist from Disney who own The Simpsons now. Oh buggering buggerton! Anyways, Moe was eventually able to crush Homer's car with the bulldozer, but Homer managed to jump out of his car in just the nick of time. Moe got out from the bulldozer wreckage only to get cut down by the police who were led by Al Priss instead of Chief Wiggum. This was because Chief Wiggum demanded more money than the other voice actors. When Radical refused, Chief Wiggum refused to lend the Chief Wiggum charm to the game. This meant that Al Priss had been placed into the game in order to replace Wiggum.

The next level was weird. For starters, Bart looked nasty. His teeth were as sharp as knives, and Milhouse looked really confused as if he didn't know where he was. Also, Bart spoke out words in a nasty voice as he said. "hey Milhouse wanna make a prank call?" "Fuck no!" Milhouse yelled at the top of his lungs as he attempted to make his way down the street only to get ran over by the school bus. Bart then decided that he wanted to get the new Itchy & Scratchy video game, but Kearny told Bart that illegal fireworks were what he truly desired. "Well then give me some RIGHT NOW!" Bart yelled angrily as he pulled out a fricking handgun, and held it to Kearney's face. Kearney tried his best to tell Bart where he could get some fireworks, but it was too late as Bart smiled at him as he pulled the fatal bullet which caught Kearney right in his massive skull. "Too long!" Bart proclaimed as he then began going around Springfield killing people who didn't have fireworks.

I guess the game didn't like Bart very much, as it then cut to a completely different level which featured Kent Brockman trying to make a name for himself. For, Kent had grown tired of all the boring topics that Channel 6 gave him to discuss. He had also been demoted from anchor to news reporter, and was getting loads of mind numbingly dumb assignments. Kent spent the entire day going around Springfield in order to look for the perfect story. He saw some pretty boring stories including a mutant rat monster creature which came from the sewers, two robbers robbing the Springfield Bank, a plane crashing into the fields of fields, and so on and so forth. However, that's when Brockman eyed upon one beautiful sight. He saw none other than Patrick Star or Saucy Pat as I like to call him standing next to a lamp post. Saucy Pat then explained to Brockman that he was watching the post so that the next time it moves, he'll be ready for it.

Brockman published the story, but jazzed it up by claiming that Saucy Pat was actually getting married to the pole, and this made him a killing. This led to him getting promoted back to anchor, and he became known as a man of great talents when it came to the reporting field. However, Brockman's story actually ended up coming true after Saucy Pat and the lamp post indeed got married in a private ceremony attended by only friends and close relatives. The wedding scene was so emotional that Tim Allen who was in attendance to the wedding for some strange reason had to look away. He just couldn't get through it! So, after I was done playing The Ballad Of Kent Brockman, I found myself playing as Bart again who was meeting up with Professor Frink at his laboratory.

Professor Frink was finishing up the building of Truckasaurus. Once he was finished building, the Truckasaurus ended up going haywire, and crashed through the walls of the lab. Bart gave chase to Truckasaurus, and was eventually somehow able to climb on top of the creature. He and Truckasaurus then proceeded to go around Springfield crushing buildings, and destroying valued landmarks. Well, I say they were doing this destruction to Springfield, but in reality Bart was not completely heartless as he and Truckasaurus were actually bringing their destruction onto Shelbyville not Springfield. After destroying Shelbyville, Bart turned to face the screen and asked in a very nasty voice, "wanna go to the Kwik-E-Mart?" Bart's voice was very scary indeed, and his teeth were as sharp as knives, and his hair was red like my chicken coop. Oh yeah I keep chickens don't judge me for they're rather racist towards undertakers for some strange reason.

The level then cut to show Lisa just sitting on the dock of the bay, and watching the tide roll away. However, because the game hates Lisa I guess I was then forced to play as Bumblebee Man: the best character in the entire Simpsons franchise. Try and deny that! I dare you I double dare you motherfucker! Sorry, I was just get very emotional when people dare to challenge my love for Bumblebee Man. He is my spirit animal which I suppose is a given since I am after all a mix between a fly and a butterfly due to an incident up in Owl Creek. An incident I seem to recall far too often. Anyways, Bumblebee didn't look right as his eyes were huge black and hairy like an actual bumblebee, and his mouth was swollen like some kind of Rap Rat. "I need honey!" Bumblebee Man coughed out. This level played out like a level from the Bee Movie Game, as I was forced to collect some nectar from flowers for Bumblebee Man. We were also forced to steal honey from Mr Burns' private honey garden.

After I was done collecting all the sweet nectar, Bumblebee Man then began making his way towards the World's Largest Toilet which had actually been converted into a massive bee hive. The hive was full to the brim with bees, and Bumblebee Man brought forth his nectar collection, but the two front guards spurned his offer with contempt by saying, "listen son we're going to need a lot more than that! You're still barred!" They proceeded to give Bumblebee Man a right good kick up the arse, and he was then flung towards Springfield until he landed in a smelly street which had never been shown on The Simpsons before at least to my knowledge anyway. Eventually, two humanoid bees appeared on the scene. Oh I recognised them instantly! They were the Vodafone Bees. Bumblebee Man tried his best to ask for their help, but sadly they were both far too busy chatting up female bees who had both recently moved into the same apartment complex as them. So, what Bumblebee Man needed was a plan B. Ha ha get it cause he's a fucking bee!?

Needing a plan B, Bumblebee Man realised that there was only one person left on this planet who could help him out now. It was none other than Uter The Cow. Uter was the local mob boss who had so much power that he even eclipsed Fat Tony's reputation in the Springfield criminal underworld. Uter was an anthropomorphic cow who had gained a reputation for eating cereal. He hated cereal so much that using highly expensive technology which you couldn't possibly understand used the machine to turn regular cereal like Cornflakes into bars. Uter had have been breaking into Kellogg's factory, and turned all of their cereal boxes into bars which angered the company, but they felt that it would be unwise to challenge Uter since he did work part-time as a country singer who made female cows turn into eggshells. Seriously, look it up it's a real thing, and it's pretty serious not gonna lie.

Bumblebee Man and Uter then made their way over to the hive, and Uter began spraying his milky machine all over the bees. One of the bees tried to sting Uter, but he responded this by eating the bee all in one go. For some reason, Uter wasn't stung as he managed to chew the very fat and hairy bee down as he continued to massacre all of the other bees. After turning all of the bees in the hive, Bumblebee Man elected himself king and made Uter his queen for some reason. So why was Bumblebee Man barred from the hive in the first place? Well he murdered one of the lavas by chucking them into the furnace. "I don't want any of that race to live." Bumblebee Man explained to one of the workers who had been forced under pain of death to throw the lava into the furnace. Some story some Bumblebee Man.

Suddenly, Robert De Niro's face came on screen as he said, "oy don't you dare press the pause button! The game could change." I paused the game anyway, as I handed the controller over to the front desk manager. I needed to use the bathroom. After using the toilet, I then decided to get some coffee from the coffee machine which was placed inside the DVD store in order to keep up with the current changes in climate. I poured myself a cup of coffee from the machine, and was horrified to learn that a miniature Robert De Niro was inside my cup. "I told you not to press that skip button, now the game will change!" Robert De Niro proclaimed as he began swimming through the black coffee. I threw the coffee at a sweet old lady which caused her skin to melt off like a pizza. Pizza! No, I promised myself I would detox from pizza, so let's chat bingo!

Upon returning to the backroom, I found that the front desk manager had jumped out of the window, and left behind a bill which read, "well maybe we could discuss this over dinner?" "Fuck no!" I yelled as I ate the letter up and at that moment, John Barbecue Crisps finally returned to the room, and took the controller from my hands and began playing. The next level was Marge's, and to save some detail it was very boring. Enough said! It was very glitchy, and Marge just kept repeating herself by saying, "easy come easy go!" Also, the mission where you have to collect ketchup packets for Cletus, oh man that mission can go fuck itself right in the beehole! It was very challenging, and caused the controller to start melting into Barbecue's hands. Barbecue very rarely lost his temper, but he found himself quickly losing it to this bastard of a game. Later, Marge was forced to get some pills for Grampa. After giving Grampa the pills, Marge yelled, "NOW TELL ME ABOUT THE CROP CIRCLES!" She yelled in the loudest voice you'd ever see, and it was so loud it caused the cars outside to set on fire, and the windows of the store to smash into a million tiny bite size pieces. Well gee Marge that was a bit loud.

Thankfully, we somehow managed to pass the level as we reached Apu's stage. Apu was trying to find out more about the Buzz Cola conspiracy. Somehow, Apu managed to link the Buzz Colas to Groundskeeper Willie, and went to confront him about it. Arriving at Springfield Elementary, Apu asked Groundskeeper Willie about the Buzz Cola and Willie responded by yelling, "I don't know what you're yapping on about!" "Oh I think you do dear Groundskeeper. Now start talking!" Apu proclaimed as he pulled out the shotgun from earlier and pointed it at Willie's head. Groundskeeper Willie responded to this by turning into a combine harvester. "Oh crap!" Apu yelled at the top of his lungs as he was forced to race across the field from the Groundskeeper Willie combine harvest hybrid thing. That is one long fucking name! Apu managed to defeat the harvester by throwing carrots at it. This caused the harvester to explode into a million tiny bite pieces.

Apu then decided to interview Krusty The Clown about his involvement in the Buzz Cola conspiracy, but Krusty claimed that the matter should be best discussed over dinner at Burger King. Was this game sponsored by Burger King or something? I certainly hope not, cause I fucking hate Burger King! I had a burger from there one time which gave me a bad stomach ache. So while eating his vegan burger, Apu realised that he did not have the money to pay the bill, so what did he do? Well, Apu simply guilt tripped a newly wed couple into giving him the money needed to pay the bill. After paying the bill, Apu leaped onto the table, and began doing a funky dance. It was very comical indeed as Krusty then began joining in. The pair danced the night away, and everybody cheered. Even Al Priss swept a tear away from his face as he watched the beautiful sight take hold.

Then came the final level.... the Treehouse of Horror level. Yes, for some reason, level 6 was gone. I didn't really mind since that level always felt like filler to me. Homer was dressed as Doughnut Homer, and began making his way towards the Springfield dump only to get ran over and killed by Kang and Kodos' spaceship. With Homer dead, Kang and Kodos then began unleashing their Buzz Cola onto the streets of Springfield, and pretty soon everybody developed an addiction to the sweet soda. "Mm sweet wumpa!" Principal Skinner proclaimed happliy as he downed a can of Buzz. Eventually, everyone fell under Kang and Kodos' control, and they were able to create an entire TV show based on the now mind controlled citizens of Springfield. However, their plan was foiled when Bart appeared on the scene riding the Truckasaurus from earlier.

Using the Truckasaurus, Bart was able to defeat Kang and Kodos, and sent their space ship flying high up into the evening sky. It flew so high that it ended up crashing into the moon, and this then caused the moon to start crashing towards the streets of Springfield. "Oh you stupid son of a...." Bart was cut off as the entire planet was ablaze in a massive nuclear explosion the likes of which the world has never seen before. In Heaven, The Simpsons family now as angels began dancing to a song by the Bee Gees while Disco Stu said, "Disco Stu needs a poo." And with that, the GameCube suddenly grew legs. They were drawn in Disney animation, which I felt was very appropriate given the fact that Simpsons is owned by Disney now.

So, my GameCube then began running down the streets, and I and John Barbecue Crisps began giving chase to it. The GameCube then began running through the remains of Big Pete's Christmas tree lot, and we were eventually able to tackle it to the ground. However, we ended up rolling into a ball, and rolled all the way down the streets of Croydon until we reached the pizza shop. We rolled our way through the entire store until we reached a secret passageway. The owner Eduardo Perez was dancing his heart out, and very nearly made the entire floor break because of his fat ass. However, his rad dancing moves caused a nearby elevator to open up, Perez used the elevator to take him to the secret underground bunker which lay underneath the store. John and I then decided to follow him, and we forced the GameCube to teach us the correct moves in order to access the elevator.

The underground bunker was very beautiful considering it was ya know a bunker. It was more like an underground palace. We made our through the bunker, and saw a bunch of Simpsons Hit & Run copies thrown all across the room. They all smelt horrible, and I held a tissue to my insect face as my eyes began to water. "I knew you'd come here." A voice said from behind me. I turned around to see none other than Perez, but it was just as I expected. He was El Macho the entire time. "I knew it.. you were El Macho!" I proclaimed at the very top of my lungs as El Macho cried, "that's right!" El Macho then proceeded to explain to me that he was going to use The Simpsons Hit & Run bootlegs to power up a machine which could bring his master into our dimension. El Macho's so called grand master would bring about the great pizza empire which change the course of how the world operates forever. "So who exactly is this master?" I asked as El Macho responded with, "well why don't you ask himself yourself?" El Macho then let out an evil laugh as he slammed his fist down on a large red button which caused a nearby interdimensional rift to appear, and a large horrifying pizza humanoid creature to climb out from it.

The Pizza Creature was very scary indeed, and the creature explained that he was the force behind the two evil ducks who then appeared from behind me. The Pizza Creature ordered the two ducks to hold me down, and they did as El Macho held a knife to my throat as he said, "adios Bee." Suddenly, my GameCube once again making the same horrifying noises from earlier. The GameCube then collapsed onto the floor as Morgan Freeman climbed out from the disc tray. He was wearing a white tailored suit as he said, "well brother a ark is all you need to sail away to the mighty blue know what I mean?" "Morgan Freeman!" The Pizza Creature cried in despair as he and Morgan Freeman began engaging in an epic rap battle for the ages. Morgan Freeman shot some lighting bolts out from his fingers which hit the two evil ducks, and turned them into the Breadwinners. However, as powerful as Morgan Freeman was, he was still no match for the Pizza Creature, and he was eventually defeated. I turned to face the Breadwinners and asked, "okay so uh what do we do now fellas?" One of the Breadwinners named Sway Sway proclaimed, "leave it to us dear Bumble!"

The two Breadwinners then ran out of the bunker. Only two seconds had gone by, as they came crashing through the walls in the rocket van. Using the rocket van, the pair crashed right into the Pizza Creature, and pushed him back into the interdimensional portal. El Macho meanwhile danced his way out of the bunker never to be seen again. Well that's a lie actually cause I saw him the other day, but whatever the point's the same. Using some duck tape, I was able to seal the portal up for good. Morgan Freeman then placed his hand upon my shoulder as he said, "I want you Bumble Johnson to build me an ark." "What why?" I asked. "Well if you had an ark you'd have a place to put them all." Morgan Freeman explained as all of the sudden a bunch of animals materialised behind me. I turned to face the animals as I muttered, "oh buggering buggerton."

So, John Barbecue Crisps and I were then forced to build an ark for Morgan Freeman. Also, because Freeman hates me he turned me into a Noah look alike. As Noah, I tried my best to get into Congress for some reason, but this didn't go very well after my rad dancing failed to impress Congressman Long who eats like 50 steaks for breakfast. So for the last six month, me and my associates have been trying our best to build the ark while Morgan Freeman just chills on a sun lounger eating fish and chips. He is also joined by Robert De Niro who said, "I told you the game could change boyio!" De Niro acts as a foreman of sorts. The rude carrot onions! While building the ark, I begin to wonder if we really made the right decision in banishing the Pizza Creature back to the netherworld. Maybe a world devoted entirely to pizza would have more worth living than a world made of lies and deceit. So sad.

That Simpsons Hit & Run bootleg forced me to build an ark, and I hate it for that. I must admit however, I am very impressed by the effort that El Macho and Pizza put into making the bootleg, and the game was quite chilly in some places. However, that's all I can really say about it. I must go now buddy, as Morgan Freeman is calling my name. He wants me to build another bow for the ark, and I will have to follow his command carefully or else Morgan will turn me into a sea cucumber again. It's happened once or twice when I just couldn't pay the price, and so Morgan went and rolled the dice. So if you ever get a smelly copy of The Simpsons Hit & Run don't play it unless you want to spent the rest of your days building an ark.

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