Written by moa_alaa.
So me and my wife decided to eat healthy a long time ago. No McDonald's, no Burger King, no pizza, no Pepsi or Coke, no refined sugar of ANY kind or ANY quantity. We only eat fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and low fat meet that we buy from the butcher and cook at home. That's it.
Last week, we decided to change things up a bit and try a new pizza place called WHP. They claim to have healthy pizza. "The World's Healthiest Pizza". So we decided "what the heck, let's give it a try". I visited the website listed on their flyer looking for a home delivery number, but couldn't find one. Instead, you make your customized order using their website interface, you give them the address, and then they deliver the pizza to your doorstep.
I chose random ingredients because there were way too many choices and we were both very hungry and had no patience. So, whatever, whole wheat? Chicken? Olives? Who the fuck cares? Just get my my fucking pizza. I submitted the order at around 11:05 PM. Then, we got back to watching our TV Show waiting for the pizza. And here is when things got a little, well, uncanny.
Door bell at 11:08 PM. That's around three minutes after my order. I thought for sure it's something else my wife had ordered or maybe my neighbor is trying to borrow my car again. I opened the door and, yes, it was the pizza guy ready with my pizza. At this moment, I was showered by an avalanche of questions:
How did they make the pizza this fast?
How did he drive here this fast?
How did he get to my apartment without having security notify me first?
And worst of all:
Why is he looking at me and smiling without saying a word for almost 10 seconds now? He didn't even try to give me the pizza. He's just looking at me and smiling and doing absolutely nothing else. He's wearing a baseball cap that has the logo of the place. He has green unblinking eyes. His teeth are super clean. And he looks so calm, so confident.
I said "Hello"
He didn't reply for two or three seconds and then he said:
"Your choices are... spot on. You have a very unique taste"
And then, as he handed me the pizza, he said: "You... will... enjoy that pizza, sir. I can guarantee that for you."
I didn't have to pay him because I had payed earlier online. I thanked him quickly, took my pizza, and closed the door, and locked the living fuck out of it. I didn't think much of it. I said to myself, maybe the pizza was already made and the guy was around delivering it to someone he couldn't reach and I happened to order the same kind so they just diverted him to me. Whatever. Let's eat.
30 seconds later the door knocked this time. Very loud and repetitive unstoppable knocking. It was very, very, very loud and it didn't stop.
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
I RAN to the door as fast as I could:
"WHO IS IT?!!" - the knocking stopped
"It's the pizza, sir"
"WHAT THE FUCK!!"
I opened the door and I was very angry. I found the same guy with another pizza in his hand. This time his smile was bigger. He actually opened his mouth a little bit more. His eyes were more opened and had a crazy lunatic look. Like he was very happy to see me. I didn't understand it. I didn't know what to do. I was very angry and scared at the same time.
"What's your problem? What the fuck do you want?"
He stopped smiling for a second
"Your... your pizza sir." - then he smiled again...
"I am the pizza delivery guy! Don't you remember me?"
At this point I knew I was dealing with an unstable person. I knew nothing I say will make progress here. I looked at my terrified wife who was standing behind me watching it all happen. I made a telephone sign with my hand. She ran to the bedroom to bring me my cell phone. I thought of calling the restaurant but I remembered they didn't have any phone numbers listed on their website. So I was considering calling the police or something. I didn't know who I wanted to call. I just needed a phone.
As I turned back to look at the door, he was gone. I stepped out to look for him, he vanished. At this point I was getting scared. I was also starting to feel aggressive and violent. I ran to the elevator trying to catch him and I grabbed one of those long garbage bins with an ashtray on top of them in case I had to physically confront him. All four elevators where at the 50th floor which is the roof floor; which never happened before.
I ran back towards my apartment and as I walked closer to it, I noticed something terrifying.
It's completely dark.
I frantically called my wife's name in sheer hysteria. She didn't answer me. I am still outside. I am too scared to walk in. She is not answering me. And I am calling her name as loud as I possibly can. She is not answering me. I am too scared to walk in. It's too dark. Too quiet.
It was too quiet until... I heard some noise coming from inside. It's a banging noise. Like... hammering. Is it hammering? Or is it...? What is it? It's very loud but muffled. Do you know the sound of muffled hammering? It's very periodic. About 1 bang per second. It went on while I stood their terrified. Speechless. Shaking. Wondering. How bad is this going to be?
bang... bang... bang...
How bad is this going to be?