"Oh-a boy-a mama mia psycho psycho psycho supa man dat hoe! Another coin! I'm a-rich! I'm-a like-a Mitt-a Romney! Don't-a make-a fun of my grandchild! Yah! Woo! Wah Hoo! Wah Hah!"
Super Mario Bros. was in very happy spirits because he gained an extra life. He bit into a mushroom and the mushroom wasn't alive so it was a good thing and he gained its energies. Highly realistic blood flew everywhere, but again, it was dead, so it didn't matter, because it was a nihilistic goth-scene mushroom with masacara dripping from its ovaries. Except that instead of ovaries, I mean it had two large onions, because it was ordered at an Italian restaurant in Brooklyn. Mario was from Brooklyn. He just hadn't been there in awhile.
"Trees are people too-a, my friend! I'm-a ME! I'm a Mari--AHHHHHhHHHHHH!!!!!"
That was when he got so overconfident that he wanted to die (not cool, man) and he fell into a pit. He dropped 576 miles and landed on top of a mushroom house looking object that was actually the tipping point of Satan's dick. Highly realistic gore flew everywhere.
"I am 666, so you must be 555!", King Koopa, I mean Satan, breathed fire at Mario. Satan had Slipknot tattoos, a spiked nose-ring, pubic hair on his forehead (aka rogaine), and a copy of the classic self-motivational book Rich Dad, Poor Dad tucked underneath his armpit.
Luckily for Mario, it turned out that the pit was actually Princess Peach's vagina. He was rebirthed, so he started at the beginning of the level again.
P.S. This happens every time you play Super Mario and he dies.
Written by Cjaymarch84