Have you guys ever heard of the 1984 television series that used to air on CBS titled "Pryor's Place"? It's a show that ran for only one season in 1984. The show stars Richard Pryor, as well as various preformers such as Akili Prince, Cliffy Magee, Michael Sheehan, Marla Gibbs, and others. It was produced by Sid and Marty Krofft, the same people who created obscure shows such as H.R. Pufnstuf, Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, Lidsville, and The Bugaloos. Despite a reputation for profanity from Richard Pryor, Pryor's Place was aimed at children. Like Sesame Street, Pryor's Place featured a cast of puppets hanging out and having fun in a friendly inner-city environment, along with several children and characters portrayed by Pryor himself. The theme song was performed by Ray Parker Jr. of Ghostbusters fame, who also appeared in the show's opening credits. The show was also fitted with a laugh track. This show was broadcast on Saturdays on CBS in 1984, with repeats airing until 1985. Four VHS videotapes were released between September 1997 and June 1998 by Rhino Entertainment, each containing one episode of the series. There was a lost episode of Pryor's Place that I saw, due to the fact it was taken off the air due to content not suitable for children. One day, I went to a store that goes by the name of 2nd Chance Media, which had everything. LITERALLY. I was browsing a VHS section. Then, something caught my eye! It said: "Pryor's Place: Never Before Seen Episode". I was surprised by this, so I decided to buy it.
Shortly after buying it, I returned home. I opened the VHS case and see what the tape looked like. It had a weird title which said: "PRYOR'S PLACE IS NOT A CULT". And I noticed what the copyright date was: 2012. Funny, because Richard Pryor died 7 years before this even happened, so that makes sense! So then, I hooked up my VHS player to my TV, and turned it on. Afterwards, I ejected the VHS player and putted the tape into the VHS player, and pushed play. The intro began as usual, but the music was in reverse. During the intro, literally everyone was CREEPY. and after the song played, I can hear the sounds of Richard Pryor unleashing the demons into the audience. And then, an announcer which sounded nothing like Rick Dees but sounded like George Jetson said: "Pryor's Place, will return after these messages!" And after that, there were actually no commercials or messages. The episode then began. It started with Richard Pryor, who walked up to the audience and said: "Hello motherfuckers!" What the... He cursed... in a children's program? That upsetted the children! He then says: "Hey! I was just wondering, we will do something special today!" And one of the audience members said: "What is it?" Pryor then said: "You kids will learn about DEATH!!!" He then stared at the camera for about 20 seconds while we zoom in to his close-up face. after that, we see the entire neighborhood, but all the cars are flipped over. "Ratings are declining? But I'm wearing this stylish hat." He wasn't wearing a hat at all, unless he meant his hair. The camera zoomed deep, deep into his head, revealing a tiny one inch cowboy hat on the very tip of his head. What the fuck is this shit? All of a sudden, Pryor screamed!
He was screaming at...spaghetti. "Scary spaghetti!" Pryor screamed, picking up a fire extinguisher and spraying the spaghetti with extinguisher exhaust. He ran into the other room, where the audience never saw, his bedroom. There were jars of fetuses all along the wall. It was disturbing. Each jar was labelled. The room was dark, but I could kind of read them. "Pryor II". "Pryor IV." et fucking cetera. What did all of this mean? Pryor looked dishevelled. "Remember you're always special." he said, fumbling with the lightswitch, flipping it on and off trying to shut the lights out even though they were already out. You can't turn the lights out on darkness. He screamed again! "Oh my god! Vehement vermicelli!" Vermicelli was a kind of pasta.
He smiled and strolled into the kitchen. He poured some tomato sauce into a bowl. "Would you like some angry angel hair? Some fucked up fusilli? Some crazy cannelloni? Some mindfucked maniccotti? How 'bout a piping hot bowl of ravenous ragata? How 'bout some fagottini? I've got some fagotini for you, faggot." Pryor just called me a faggot, but he was smoking a cigarette, so it was ok because he was referring to cigarettes. Wait a minute- Pryor didn't smoke! "AHHH!" Pryor yelled at the top of his lungs. Long, wet spaghetti strands were dripping down the door. "Creepy pasta!" He threw his shoe at the door and went over to the wall where the trolley usually is. "What the fuck?" he looked into the trolley hole. "What the fuck is this shit?" What was with all the cursing? This show was for children, I thought. Evidently, I thought wrong. Pryor picked up a mallet. Where did he get a mallet from? He started to break down the wall where the trolley usually travelled into his neighborhood.
There was just a lot of screaming as he entered the neighborhood. "What the goddamn shit!" Pryor said angrily. "Get out of my fucking house!" He grabbed a tiger puppet that hissed in a lonely manner before Pryor grabbed him, and stomped on him with his sneakers. "I'm too old for this shit!" he yelled, spitting cigarettes. He ran over to the castle area and grabbed Little Richie. He threw him on the floor and stomped him with his shoe. He punched Wally Waker in the ass. He killed King Empty-Head, smashing his crown. He took out some matches and started burning the set down, with the sound of hissing and popping. At first I thought it was just sound of air being released, but then I realized what it was. It was the sound of thousands of tiny termites screaming. Pasta began to rain from the sky. A man that looked like Chef Boyardee came out and started to collect all the pasta and put it in rusty metal cans that were dented.
All of a sudden the scene cut to Pryor entering his home again! Everything was normal, except Pryor looked a little disgruntled. The wall where the trolley had been was boarded up. He stepped over.. a body. It was Pryor, I could tell by the sweater, lying face down on the floor. "Ratings are declining." Richard said. He put on a gold money chain and started to rap. A shitty beat started as he took out a boombox.
"Now I'm Richard Pryor and I'm here to tell ya
Don't buy McDonald's go to Taco Bell y'all
They got tacos so good they send shivers up my spine
Two flaming hot chalupas for 1.99
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
You can make fun of me if that's how you get your kicks
But I have fancy shoes and I'll kick you in the dick
You might think you're cool, you might think you're fly
But you sit at home and masturbate to Family Guy
Dollar dollar bill, suck my dick
Does anyone remember that show The Tick?"
He then started eating a taco as ratings continued to decline. All of a sudden there was a knock at the door. It was another Richard Pryor, dressed up as Mr. McFeely from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. He was smiling wide. "Hey." He smiled. "I'm Pryor McFeely." He smiled. "Do you." He smiled. "Want to." Smiles. "Feel me?" He smiled big and the camera zoomed into his mustache and crispy eyes.
All of a sudden the doorbell rang. A third Pryor was at the door, this one with a cowboy hat on and a lasso at his side. "I'm the real Pryor all of you other Pryor are just imitating." He sounded a bit like that Eminem song from over a decade ago. Mr. Mcfeely took out a gun! "Nobody move!" He screamed. The two identical Pryor stared out, with pasta sauce on their faces. "The real Pryor has a tattoo on his right buttcheek of Adolph Hitler." What in God's name? "I'm the real Pryor!" Richard screamed, pleading outward. "And I used to have an identity. I used to be something...real." Pryor took his pants off, showing a tattoo of Adolph Hitler on his right buttcheek. "What the fuck?" Was Mr. Pryor a nazi? "Excuse me." The other Pryor said. "I think you meant that the real Pryor has a tattoo of his right buttcheek on his Adolph Hitler." He ripped off Mr. Mcfeely's mustache, revealing a smaller, Hitler mustache and a wig that covered the hitler wig. Pryor McFeely took off his mail outfit, revealing he was wearing traditional Hitler garb. He lifted his right shoulder, showing a picture of Pryor's buttcheek tattooed to his arm which had a picture of Pryor tattooed to the buttcheek on the arm of the buttcheek with the arm. Pasta dripped down the set, slowly, uncomfortably.
"I'm the real Mr. Pryor." A fourth Pryor entered, this one in a bear suit. The other three started to scream as though it was a real bear! He mauled them all, violently murdering them before the room became covered in blood and gore. Pryor aka Hitler's head sat in the corner, smiling away. A fifth Pryor entered and poured uncooked spaghetti all over the blood, which seeped in, making delicous pasta with blood sauce, which he ate. A sixth and seventh Pryor entered, which looked like they were gay love partners. The eighth and ninth Pryors were Spanish and Asian, respectively. Ten, twenty, soon a fucking thousand Pryors packed the set. Someone picked up the gun Richard Pryhitler was holding and began to shoot at the other Pryors who calmly conversed about shoes under the bloodshed and the sound of someone promoting Taco Bell and Mountain Dew products.
The set became covered in termites, blood, countless dead Pryor's fire, pasta, hitler mustaches, sweaters and shoes. Dead puppets lined the walls. The trolley had been destroyed. Amid the chaos, things just became white noise that I could not understand. But then the lights went out, and what must have been the real Mr. Pryor entered. "My whole life." Pryor began. "I wanted to let everyone know they were special." There was a long pause, as Richard Pryor bit into another taco and was holding a The Tick action figure which had sticky arms that let it roll down walls that he must have gotten in a 90's kids meal. "But now I see, we are special. Not one of us, but the whole group. You and I and him, and he, we're all special. Our imperfections, the things that make us fucked up." He took out another cigarette. "I wish I could tell children that now, now that I'm-" There was a long pause. "You don't have to change a thing. Others are constantly struggling for the priveledge of one upping you. This has happened since the dawn of time." Another pause. "But not you- you're special just the way you are. Special in your insignificance, in a way." The other corpses of the other Pryor began to fade to nothing, as though they never existed. "Why do we have to feel special? To buy back some of that unconditional love our parents gave us as children? To buy a little more time in that place where everything just made sense, because we didn't know the details? Isn't that what 'God' is? Don't we still have God so we can feel special? So we can still feel that love of a parent, to take that fear of cold insignificance away?" A man that looked like Chef Boyardee was staring out, sinister. "That's all I came back to say. As an idea. You're fine the way you are. And fuck it." He exhaled. "But it's the same emotion an animal feels, as though it doesn't understand." Another pause. "I don't understand." The last Pryor faded away, leaving a black screen. The final shot was just of a ghostly Pryor in the corner of some Italian bistro, sitting alone, enjoying some pasta. The screen faded.