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Written by Narwhal Ball

Author's Note (Read This First)

This story is a funnypasta and is therefore not intended to be taken seriously. With that being said, I hope you enjoy and please make sure to leave your thoughts and feelings in the comment section down below.

The Story

I am a frog. There's no other way around it. I am a fat fucking frog and if that changes your already cynical view about me then I'm afraid that we cannot be friends. It's okay though, because I live in a town named Crazy Town. If I'm being completely honest with you, the people of Crazy Town are pretty fucking racist, as they seem to think that humans are all thieves and murderers. I even find it rather humorous when they tell me that humans 'don't even jump high' and 'only steal from us'. I think I speak for all of us when I say that we're fucking sick of your crap and all of your racist trash.  I'm so behind on my bills in fact that I am forced to take out loans from a gangster snail named Fat E. Dick, who is operating in the area. You see; I work as a Pest Control exterminator and I spend long afternoons exterminating termites, bed bugs, and other pests and rodents. Sadly, I make very little profit from my job, and I'm saving up to buy a house up in the town. I live with my Grandpa Finny in his trailer. His boss King Sookie Stackhouse (who is a mole) has a big beautiful castle up in the hills in the town of Crazy Town. I used to own a house until it got stolen by The Right Hand Man himself. I was even sent to jail briefly, but thankfully Mr. Monopoly Man gave me a get out of jail free card so I guess it all worked out well in the end. I really need a new apartment. Here's one: The House of Doom. The House of Doom is open for rent. Do you have what it takes to be my new roommate? Oh no you do not. I already chosen a roommate who is actually my rat-like girlfriend; Snozbella, so don't even try. If you're not my dream roommate, you are not my girlfriend. And don't tell me you'll make me happy, get the fuck out.

Anyways I'm going to tell you a story that turned my life upside down.

I was in my car and I drove down to a restaurant which was not that far away. The restaurant was entitled Barney Loves Food. Hmm… I wonder if they’re talking about that stupid purple dinosaur. In the restaurant, one of the workers was Madame Pork! She took my order and I asked her boss if serving free pizzas is fine. Well, this seemed to make her day. We thanked her, and then went into the back of the restaurant. Here I encountered a rather tense reception. Why were there a number of soldiers with guns in my face? I think they’re here to serve my free pizza. I was asked to sit down and wait for the pizzas. Madame Pork called over one of the soldiers to help her cut my pizzas. I had just assumed it was that big purple dinosaur, but turns out it was the head chef, who happened to be none other than a fat eagle. Madame Pork gave me the pizzas and that was the most perfect moment for me.

I got in my car and drove down to the gun shop, the owner was apparently Mr. Foxburg, in my opinion, the best fox in the world, and I offered him a golden bullet. I asked him how much and he said "100 bucks." At that moment I knew that this golden bullet was going to be a collector's piece, and I was pretty sure I could sell it for $20,000 and make a good profit on the golden bullet. He handed me the money, and I said, "Mr. Foxburg, my girlfriend and I just bought the only golden bullet in the world, what do you think?" He gave me some sort of half-smile, and the smile turned into a grimace of disapproval as he looked over the golden bullet and then, almost as if he had been looking forward to this moment all his life, he turned and looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, you know, a golden bullet that good comes with a price." He seemed to be saying the most horrible things. I could see it in his eyes, just like when you tell someone you are going to get married and you're happy and excited, only to find out that there's some weird thing in your past you want to forget, or you want to have sex and you meet someone who has sex all the time, and then it hurts and it's gross. And then you feel this weird guilt that you didn't really want to do that in the first place. Then you apologize, and you keep going, and that is how he looked at me with the sad look in his eyes and said, "the price has to be paid". So then I looked back at him with a big smile, and said, "How much do you think the golden bullet is going for in cash?" He looked again and said, "a hundred dollars." Now that was a good price. He took out the checkbook and I put the money in and took the golden bullet. I walked out and bumped into my occasional business rival Craig Mammalton.  He is the tannest man in Crazy Town due to promoting extreme tanning from the sun. I also consider him racist, which he absolutely is and he gave secret instructions to the police to throw tennis balls at me. That bastard always talks a lot about his $200,000.00 boat that he gets from his nasty wife, Barbie Doll, and he was just trying to flex his muscles in front of his troops. Anyway, We agreed to meet at the deli on the corner. (Oh, a nice deli here in Crazy Town, I must admit, it’s a bit of a shock to see what we can get up here in Crazy Town!) Anyway, I didn’t want to go there, but you need to remember that I am a frog and I'm really behind on bills. So I drove to the deli to meet with Craig Mammalton. I didn't want to come here though, what was I thinking? I walked in and encountered a group of Russian bears. They immediately sent me back outside. I then went into town and was about to have a pint, but then noticed that there was a line of people waiting for me. They all hated me and wanted to stab me in the neck with a skateboard, so I walked to a bar called Grindswell, where I met an ugly female alligator with a raspy male-like voice named Lady Grosselda, and she talk to me about all the weird stuff she likes to do, like talking to trees. I didn't really get what all the fuss was about, so I ordered a beer from her. There were no male waiters in this bar, they had long since been deported by King Sookie Stackhouse. This was a bit odd, but hey, that's capitalism for ya. (If you want to know why some restaurants are run by females instead of males, check out this thread on Reddit)

I was starving by now, but I went to the Banana Nuts Diner. I ordered a bowl of fluffy cake with no nuts in it, but when I got it, it was a dry piece of cardboard. I was really fed up at this point, so I left. I walked down the streets of Crazy Town... sad, that’s when I heard a voice tell me that they have something special. I turned around to see Fingers; a thief panther who was selling some bootlegs out on the street to people. They were mainly video game bootlegs which were mainly under-rated PlayStation games like Patapon and Loco Roco. I begged him to sign my autograph and he did. However, Fingers sadly got caught in the act by Al Priss and his fellow estate agents Bald McCald, Harry and Combover. Al got ready to beat the snot out of us when the trio showed him just how much the money Fingers made from selling the bootlegs to people. Impressed by our efforts, Fingers demanded a small fine. How much did he ask for? Well, a generous fine of 99 grand from someone named "Taff E. Kid". Fingers picked the money up, and began rubbing his face with it. Al Priss and I just stood there disgusted as did the trio of McCald, Harry, and Combover. Fingers stood there for what seemed like an eternity. This was getting awkward and Fingers could sense this. To this point, Al Priss, Bald McCald, Harry and Combover were waving pennies at him and also chanting "Stupid panther!" at the top of their lungs. Why are they doing this? I thought. How can they hate a panther? Why did they mob him like that? Maybe they think he's stupid and I, this fat frog who can't even hold my own bottle, is smart. As the chants became louder, Fingers' smirk was gone from his face and he just kept asking himself, what the fuck am I doing? Fingers then drop something, a copy of PaRappa the Rapper 2.

Parappa-the-rapper-2-front-cover.jpg

In case you haven't heard of it, PaRappa the Rapper 2 is a rhythm video game published by Sony Computer Entertainment and developed by NanaOn-Sha for the PlayStation 2 in 2001 (the year where Sony hammered the final nail in the coffin for Sega's consoles. (Though Sega has gone on to develop software for its former competitor; Nintendo's GameCube and Microsoft's Xbox)). The game is the third title in the PaRappa the Rapper series following Um Jammer Lammy and the original PaRappa the Rapper. It got a remaster for the PlayStation 4. I don't own any of them though so I didn't really give two fricks about that. However, what I did give two fricks about was this game that Fingers had dropped. It didn't look right. The cover had PaRappa dressed in drag.  I thought that PaRappa the Rapper was family friendly. I guess not? Also, the cover smelt really bad like that Domino's Pizza I used to wipe my ass one night when I was drunk. I mean really bad like it legit made my eyes water. The cover was also incredibly sticky and stuck to your hands like a right bastard.

On the reverse side of the cover, it read: "PaRappa and his gang are back! Why waste time with the boring stuff? Enjoy PaRappa's funky musical adventure with SONY Pictures!" Also, it had an ad for an animated series of PaRappa: "Love music? Be sure to watch PaRappa's latest show featuring a full cast, coming in 2001!" It's so smart, but why didn't it just put these awesome adverts on the cover of the game? I called Fingers to tell him about the game I found. "You found the PaRappa game?" Fingers said. "Yes." I said. "You found the game and now you're telling me about it? That's messed up man." Fingers asked. "Yeah. That is messed up." I said. "You should never put any game in your house that you don't own." Fingers said. "Like where I found it." I asked. "What was it?" "The PaRappa game." Fingers replied. "I'm going to play that game to find out if Taff E. Kid had bootleged that game." I told him. "I thought it would be cool." Fingers said.

Now, I could have taken this game away from him and paid him. I could tell the game didn't feel right at all but still. Fingers just passed the game to me. Fingers really felt bad about the incident and became quiet. I could tell he was regretting having it in his house. It was now time for me to go back to my Grandpa Finny's house so that I could play it and test it out.

As soon as I went back to Grandpa Finny's house, he was already gone for his boss' meeting. I went to my PS2 and I blew the dust away from it after a while of not being used. I hooked up the PS2 and I ordered pizza and it was only 20 minutes before my pizza came. After the pizza came, I booted up the PS2 and I grabbed myself a soda and along with the pizza, I sat myself on the chewed sofa with my pet giant cockroach named Rupert Roach.

Anyways, I told him that I’d be playing this very odd version of PaRappa the Rapper 2. He asked if he could watch me play. I said yes, so I booted the game up and put my memory card in.

We’ve both been gamers our whole lives and we both can’t figure out what the hell this game is supposed to be. I assumed it was going to be fun, but I was wrong. Dead wrong. Deader than Dead Bart.

Sure enough, the game booted up, the game was frozen, I looked at the loading message:

/Moved valid sector: File not recognized: Undefined constant '1H'

Eventually, after trying to load for about an hour, the logo for Fat E. Dick Productions came up. I realized then that "Taff E. Kid" was just Fat E. Dick's name spelled in reverse! It was all a lie! A dirty, rotten trick!

The opening  cutscene was that of the gang watching the monster movie. The gang was PaRappa (of course), PJ Berri, Katy Kat, Lammy, Ma-San, and Sunny Funny. However, the monster was different. This monster was a giant 4 limbed Flea, has a hair and beard and crazy looking face. It cut to the gang in the movie theater, looking scared (except for Katy and Ma-San, the former looked disappointed while the ladder looked excited).  "Uh, okay...." I said to myself. The monster pulls a chainsaw out of nowhere and saws out of the cinema screen, causing everyone to run away. There were two things: 1, why is the monster a giant flea? I hate giant fleas like this. And 2, where the fuck did he get a chainsaw, is he a lumberjack? PaRappa gets out of a blue door and closes before the monster can attack him. He is scared in horror when he hears soft footsteps from right behind him. But right before the monster can saw him to 8 bits, PaRappa wakes up in his bed after a horrible nightmare he had. Nothing out of the ordinary yet... until the Sunny Funny scene appeared, PaRappa, PJ Berri and Sunny Funny weren't in Sunny Funny’s house at all, they were in Shrek's swamp. Shrek came out from his outhouse as he asked, "What are you doing in my swamp?" PaRappa goes out with PJ after exiting the swamp.

Anyways, after that the title screen of PaRappa the Rapper 2 began to play. However there were some differences. For starters, PJ Berri was a lot fatter than normal, PaRappa wore a striped-shirt now. General Potter was now a poop brown color, Sunny Funny had a polka-dot dress, Papa Rappa was not wearing his hat and Lammy, Ma-San, and Katy Kat were all just dressed up in salmon suits. and that's not all! The copyright symbol appeared as normal, but instead of 2001 or 2002, it was 2000. What the hell???

Instead of starting with PaRappa and PJ Berri, this bootleg started with Larry the Lobster eating worms, some real worms. No, not that overused clichéd "hyper-realistic" kind of "real". Larry was eating actual cartoon worms! Seriously look it up in the official SpongeBob wiki; Larry is a sick fuck.

While eating his disgusting meal, PaRappa and PJ Berri walk on the street as he had not noticed them, PJ began eating an ice cream like a jackass and then threw the cone at Larry's head which ended up knocking him out. PaRappa and PJ talked about what happened at Sunny's house. While PJ  was thinking about noodles, PaRappa said, "Not now PJ, I don't have time for dat shit." I was shocked of what he said to PJ Berri, there was never swearing in the PaRappa the Rapper series, in fact there was no swearing whatsoever at all. (UmJammer Lammy used hell once but that hell was referring to well... Hell). They then decided to head over to Beard Burger to have some burgers.

Then the 1st Boxy Boy's practice segment occurred - if you could even call that boom box Boxy Boy. I feel like it looks less like Boxy Boy and more of a mishmash of a random cartoon boom box and some generic robot thrown into a washing machine for 240 minutes and mixed together into a horrifying monstrosity that looked like a dilapidated plastic robot left in the garage for over 9000 years, but that's a completely different story altogether.

The Bootleg Boxy Boy had said something I will never forget, "Hey Furog, What Hides In Your Mind?" His voice sounded very decrepit and distorted than the real Boxy Boy's voice.

"No, how about you shut the hell up because I ain't telling you anything about my secret thoughts, so get out of my freaking face you scumbag." I yelled at Bootleg Boxy Boy. I feel like I'm being investigated. Now, when I play a video game, I play it for enjoyment and for entertainment. I don't want to play a video game that makes me feel investigated. No one likes feeling investigated. No, I'm not going to tell you what I secretly like to do. You don't have any right to know because guess what, I don't trust Bootleg Boxy Boy. I will never trust The Bootleg Boxy Boy.

After the practice segment, The Bootleg Boxy Boy then said "I Have Already Seen It."

"WELL FRICK YOU THEN! IF YOU ALREADY KNEW WHAT HIDES IN MY MIND THEN WHY THE FRICK DID YOU ASK! AND WHY THE HELL DID YOU LOOK INTO MY MIND YOU CREEPY BOX! WHAT THE HELL MADE YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO GO INTO MY PRIVATE BUSINESS! WHOEVER MADE THIS BOOTLEG COPY MUST GO TO HELL RIGHT NOW!" Oh my god, I'm about to lose my insanity.

In the next cutscene, PaRappa ordered for, get this, Number 15: Burger King Foot Lettuce. The new owner brought them burgers, but all the burgers have noodles. PaRappa asks what happened and the new owner tries to have PaRappa try them but then PaRappa yelled at the top of his lungs. "This shit tastes like ass. I am gonna bite your cock you fucking hairy mutant." Two employees said "If our president was alive, things would be a lot better." Then the ghost of the deceased Beard Burger Master comes to life and starts yelling at the top of his lungs. "ALL FUCKING TOASTERS TOASTS FUCKING TOAST!" I almost started laughing because it was funny but then I said "Why is that in a family friendly video game?" He tells PaRappa to come to the back and he'll show him how to make the best burger in town. He agrees to help, after saying, "I gotta believe!"

The level was weird. First of all, there were Tikis everywhere, PaRappa was laughing during the rap. I couldn’t even begin to guess what was going on. The music was way off-key, the animation was glitchy, the controls were wonky, and the level was…just baffling. This isn’t the PaRappa the Rapper 2 I knew and loved!

In the next cutscene, PaRappa and P.J. try to figure out what they should do, then they decide to pay a visit to PaRappa's father, and see what he could do because he's an inventor. Then, the scene cuts to PaRappa's house where General Potter is watching the news, while Papa Parappa is working on his newest invention, the De-Noodlizer. He explains that to use it, one must push the dark green, but square button on the TV remote. The machine works, but it shrinks Potter and Papa Parappa down to the size of an ant.

Then the 2nd practice segment occurred, The Bootleg Boxy Boy had said, “You’re Going to See Lots of Pretty Things.” And excuse me, that Bootleg Boxy Boy is not a pretty thing at all. After the practice segment, The Bootleg Boxy Boy then said “Nothing's horrifying.” Basically this boombox literally lies to the audience which is absolutely insulting.

PaRappa and P.J. get to the house, only to find that Papa Parappa is nowhere to be seen. P.J. sees that a show named, "Romantic Karate," starring Chop Chop Master Onion, is on, and decides to try it out.

CCMO’s level was completely normal. The only noticeable difference is he and the female onion both had rings on their fingers. I assumed that they had gotten married or something like that, I don't know.

After PaRappa and PJ's romantic karate, they sit back on the chairs while Papa Rappa and General Potter are still trying to get them to grow them back to size. P.J. ends up grabbing the De-Noodllizer's remote control from a pile of other remote controls. He then presses a button on it wondering what's next to watch and it grows back Papa Rappa and Potter, PaRappa, however, wants to watch something different and takes the remote from P.J. to change the channel which has the other two shrink down again without them noticing. After a while of fighting, P.J. gets off his seat and wonders if there are any ghosts in PaRappa's house, PaRappa gets off too and accidentally presses the shrink button on the remote control, the two end up accidentally shrinking when in front of the De-Noodlizer, and soon meet up with Papa PaRappa and General Potter, who tell PaRappa and PJ they've been trying to get them to press the green square button on the remote. However, the MilkCan group comes in to find where PaRappa is (to discuss the recent events going around) Lammy thinks nobody's home and so the group decides to wait until they come. Katy grabs the remote to change the channel and she ends up shrinking her and Lammy (with Ma-San the same size due to her sitting on the chair).

Then the 3rd practice segment occurred, The Bootleg Boxy Boy had said "You Are So Ill!". No I am not ill, thank you very much. After the practice segment, The Bootleg Boxy Boy then said “I Just Wanna Fix You.” I DON'T WANT TO BE FIXED AS I'M NOT AT ALL ILL!

Okay, so something I probably should have mentioned earlier is that all the voices (except for Ma-San) were dubbed in by other people. For example, PJ Berri was voiced by Mr. Foxburg, Lammy was being voiced by Madame Pork, Katy Kat has Lady Grosselda's raspy male-like voice which did not fit Katy's distinguished voice at all, PaRappa's Dad sounded like my Grandpa Finny. General Potter has the same voice King Sookie Stackhouse had, and Sunny Funny sounded something identical to Snozbella. I was horrified when I saw that PaRappa has my voice. and for Boxy Boy... well it sounded like a 18 year old Midwestern who likes Nutella. and given the fact this bootleg was made by Fat E. Dick, it helped to explain why PaRappa was acting so out of character. Now, after more and more citizens (from going to reasonable places such as a deliveryman to people just randomly coming in) of the town are piling in and getting shrunken by Ma-San repeatedly pressing the remote's shrink button. After they all became shrunk, PaRappa hassles his dad in wanting to grow back to size, and Guru Ant then came on screen and he looked really sick. Like seriously, the poor Guru's skin was as green as Shrek. There were mushrooms and gangrene growing out from his head and the corners of his mouth were kinda droopy and eyes were "glass-like". Even the putrid goo dripping from his mouth smelled worse than a dead fish, and  he really looked like he was about to go to sleep. Of course being the Guru Ant, he still managed to teach (and raps) PaRappa on how to get bigger again. The stage still took place on the floor of Parappa's house with pieces of junk and trash lying around until when Parappa and Guru Ant got hitted by the De-Noodler's ray and caused their legs to grow out of to be freakishly long. I beat the level on Good Mode, because Guru Ant had gotten worried that he is bigger than his normal size and requested to immediately be made small again

What came next was actually quite shocking.

It cuts to a clip of Mothra and Godzilla falling in love. It then showed a line of text that red “Property of Warner Brothers Pictures, Do Not Release”

After becoming big again, Parappa and PJ enlist in General Potter's forces, and Potters seeks for the two to be trained.

Then the 4th practice segment occurred, The Bootleg Boxy Boy had said, "You can't see me!" Yes, I can! After the practice segment, The Bootleg Boxy Boy then said “I'm Standing At The Door.” WELL I DON'T SEE YOU. PULL UP, C'MON, I DON'T SEE YOU AT THE DOOR. LYING DONKEY. COME OVER HERE AND FUCKING FIGHT ME, DO IT ALREADY.

Prince Fleaswallow was shown on the floor as an ambulance appeared on the scene. Prince Fleaswallow was then placed onto a stretcher, and was taken to the hospital. According to one of the paramedics, he was injured from Moosesha's training. Turns out, the trainer is Instructor Moosesha, the sister of Instructor Mooselini from the first game. And Moosesha looks like a glow-up edit from a Tik-Tok meme, Moosesha still trains Parappa in her rap, but only if he can create his own groove. And the Moosesha level was… just kinda… normal. It had the usual music, but the graphics were way worse and the pacing was a bit off. And Moosesha kept shouting and laughing like Parappa did in 1st level. She was probably making fun of Parappa, but there were too many instances of her talking or laughing during Parappa's raps. I think I'd like Moosesha more if she kept her jokes and chuckles to herself.

After training with Instructor Moosesha, Parappa and PJ get their first mission, which is at the Parappa Town barber shop.

Then the 5th practice segment occurred, "Nothing’s Priceless!" Actually technically a lot of things are priceless. After the practice segment, The Bootleg Boxy Boy then said "You can lose everything yo!" Joke's on you. I can't lose my name, or my past, or the time I wasted watching this godawful. I can't even lose my own sanity as I have none of it left, I might as well spit in The Bootleg Boxy Boy's face and say, 'fuck you fuck you' to The Bootleg Boxy Boy, because I think he's crazy now and if The Bootleg Boxy Boy isn't insane!

As they get there, they witness many of the townsfolk possessing large afros, and they go into the shop only to find Hairdresser Octopus. The octopus will undo his work only if Parappa can successfully follow or outdo his hairdressing rap.

Throughout his stage, Octopus has shown working on the afros. This includes trimming, cutting, priming, and dying. So many freaking funny parts. I was in tears laughing the whole time. I couldn’t believe how bad it was. It was definitely funnier than anything on Adult Swim. After Lammy's hair is done, PaRappa and Hairdresser Octopus will finish the afros. At this time, I received a Cool rank, and Hairdresser Octopus left the room. Hairdresser Octopus was shown in the back, while PaRappa was shown working on the afros. At the end of this process, the hypnotic device was destroyed, and Hairdresser Octopus returned to normal. He doesn't appear to recall what happened.

PaRappa and the gang take the machine that brainwashed Hairdresser Octopus to Papa Parappa, and discovers that a rare video game cartridge called, "Food Court," is the source of the noodleization. Papa Parappa states that the game never hit the market because of a rumor that those that failed the game got to eat nothing but noodles for the rest of their lives.

Then the 6th practice segment occurred, The Bootleg Boxy Boy had said, "There Is Truth In Fiction!" Mate, it's called fiction for a reason! After the practice segment, The Bootleg Boxy Boy then said, “Fiction is meaningless” Mate, everything in it is fake, not true.

He then finds a virtual reality helmet and sticks the cartridge in it, and says that he's not letting his 'baby son' go through with this. PaRappa reminds himself that all this time he's had people that helped him grow up, but for him to be a real man, it was time for him to do this himself. PaRappa accepts the Food Court challenge, knowing that none of his friends can help him. The level was completely different. There was a lot more action. We didn't use so many frames either. We used all we could. The backgrounds were completely different. It had a more arcade-ish feel. The graphics were similar to the level of the first one, but there was more freedom of movement. That was the main difference.

PaRappa's dad has just finished the denoodlizer when a warning comes up; the Noodle Syndicate is attacking, random phone calls come up after everything becomes noodilized (even the noodles itself). PaRappa's dad has a plan to use his past inventions,

Then the 7th and final practice segment occurred, "You're Getting Lost On The Path!"  Dude, I'm literally on my sofa playing this video game bootleg thing. After the practice segment, The Bootleg Boxy Boy then said "DoN't LoOK BeHiNd YoU!" I laughed at such a silly attempt to scare, especially as I'm sitting with a wall behind me. I have seen it all in my day and I'm not going to just stand here and say nothing. The Bootleg Boxy Boy is crazy, this Bootleg Boxy Boy is psycho, and I will not say anything to this Bootleg Boxy Boy!

PaRappa and PJ go in a car, General Potter and PaRappa's dad go into a jet, and Lammy, Ma-San, and Katy Kat go on a bike. PaRappa's dad and General Potter are in a jet, they go to PaRappa Town where there is chaos, the Army has been vandalizing buildings and turning them into noodles. They use the Denoodlizer to stop the vandalism in PaRappa Town. Then General Potter and PaRappa's Dad do a sweets attack, which kinda worked. PaRappa and PJ found out the army were actually dummies, they also found out there was a wire, so they followed the wire, and somebody's behind this, it's Colonel Noodle, the selfish brat. I didn't like that this character (Colonel Noodle) now sounds like Patchy the Pirate and Leprechaun mixed together.

Colonel Noodle then challenges PaRappa to a rap battle. The level was completely "spooky" in sarcasm with no music at all, just cheap sound effects.  PaRappa raps that he'll rip the nuts off of Colonel Noodle, which will get him a golden crown. While Colonel Noodle raps that he can't rap on a beat unless it's really smooth, and that PaRappa will have to do better than that. After PaRappa gives a quick verse, all of a sudden, the GrubHub characters "crash the party" and they wore red robes, like a cult, and started twerking at a pentagram, which was slowly dragging Colonel Noodle into it, as the Delivery Dance theme was playing. On the verge of becoming enraged, the GrubHub characters began to dance their hands and feet at a tempo that I couldn't believe, it actually sounded like it would make my brain leak out my ears. Once it did, they all joined hands and danced with all their heart in the air, singing some "Dress like a GrubHub customer!" or something, then stopped when the GrubHub characters were completely exhausted. Meanwhile, PaRappa dawned a pair of sunglasses as he remarked, "time to set it off Furog time to set it off!" How did PaRappa know my name? He must have been checking me out. I knew that I had found out why this PaRappa was not acting the character we were all used to, but I wasn't too sure of that until now.

The stage starts with the whole gang including Sunny having a picnic Then Sunny's song plays, while this happens, we find out what happened to Sunny. At the start she tried to catch up with PaRappa and PJ, but they were too far away. It reveals that she has been watching the events that PaRappa did, including stopping the noodle attack, and saving the day, until she finally arrives at PaRappa and the whole gang, who are relieved and happy to see her. Back at the picnic, Sunny gives PaRappa a letter in return to perform on stage at Club Fun. When they arrive, PaRappa tells Sunny that he's tried so many things to try and grow up, but he doesn't think he really did and that for the show, he is going to do what he always does. But Sunny replies saying not to be silly and that he is man enough already. If he keeps trying and never gives up, he is already a grown up. PaRappa agrees and uses his catchphrase “I gotta believe!” The group makes their way backstage, where a nervous MC King Kong Mushi is waiting. "Where have you been, kid? Milkcan has exhausted their entire library twice over trying to satiate that crowd! Let's get on out there and give them the show they've been waiting for!" They get ready to perform on stage, with MC King Kong Mushi leading. He appears up first, followed by PaRappa, who then bows in front of the whole crowd as they cheer for and the show starts. Sunny plays the song while PaRappa and PJ keep running forward to their respective spots. Sunny finishes the song as they finally arrive at their places. During the rest of the show, MC King Kong Mushi leads PaRappa and Sunny to the center stage. While on stage, Sunny says that he's sorry for everything that's happened and she's sorry for teasing him, but she says that she loves him, and for him to be okay, that he will always be okay. To show him she's alright, They appear through the sky, and while standing in the sky, PaRappa starts to perform and then PaRappa starts to laugh, causing Sunny to laugh as well. Then the music starts and they do "Chop Suey". With the song finished, Sunny then says, "You're so good to me. You'll do the right thing. Let's go home!" After that, PaRappa finally admits to Sunny that he's really going to try and make himself grow up, but she says it's okay to not have hopes, because PaRappa can do the work right here and now. She also realizes that she never would have thought PaRappa would actually believe in her until now, and thanks him for believing in her. They hug and she kisses him on the cheek. The rest of the show has PaRappa and Sunny dancing together in the back as the rest of the audience watches. At the end, they say that they really enjoyed their performance and all the other audience members who came are going to go home with their own special show for their parents. On the way back, while listening to "Chop Suey" PaRappa asks Sunny if she wants to get something to eat. She then thanks PaRappa, and says that even she still hopes that someday she and PaRappa can have a special family experience. PaRappa says that he hopes the same for Sunny too, and the two part on good terms.

Meanwhile on stage in Club Fun, the Just For Laughs mascot named Victor comes in and yells "Mommy...IT'S OVER!". And with that, the closing credits began to play.

Only there was a small mid credits scene that had Gummy Bear and Crazy Frog doing the Vibri's high score dance with Vibri. Gummy Bear said “Look for the Vib-Ribbon game in stores on September 1st, for lots of music, songs, and extras!” It was apparently a commercial claiming that you need to be at the stores on September 1st to buy Vib-Ribbon. I started getting all warm and tingly and stuff. I don’t know what the game was doing, but it was making me lose my shit. I was laughing and yelling and stuff, and also crying at the screen. It was the weirdest fucking game I’ve ever played. I responded by pressing the eject button on my PlayStation console.

To be honest, that was the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen... so much so that Australia is now in the north which makes no sense. What the hell has happened to the world? Nothing makes sense anymore... at least that's not happening when you try to explain something to me.

Grabbing my wallet off the kitchen counter, I attempted to make my way outside only to get intercepted by my Grandpa Finny. "What's your hurry Furog?" Grandpa Finny asked as he waddled his way inside the trailer.

Sitting back down in the trailer, I told Grandpa Finny about how I intended to give the bootleg over to Fingers to cover as payment. Grandpa Finny responded to this by grabbing me by the neck as he yelled, "Are you freaking insane my boy? You seem to forget Craig Mammalton; he works for Fat E. Dick: the most powerful Dick in all of Crazy Town.” "So? You and I are tight like two peas in a pea and ham soup. Fingers knows that Fat E. Dick is useless, and he won't bat an eyelid if he should stop coming to work for him every day. Know what I mean?" Grandpa Finny explained. "Perhaps." I said as Grandpa Finny kicked me out the front door with King Sookie Stackhouse, Mr. Foxburg, Madame Pork, Lady Grosselda, Rupert Roach and the lovely Snozbella follow closely behind us.

"Whoa! What's going on here Grandpa Finny?" I asked while watching the group of Russian bears stroll towards the trailer. "It seems these are going to beat us up if we don't give them the bootleg."  Grandpa Finny explained. "Nah! These guys are just good looking bears,” said Rupert Roach. "But these are no ordinary bears either. These guys are Craig Mammalton's evil minions." said King Sookie. "Now let us be smart about this. Let's leave and we'll be fine," I suggested before jumping off the back of Grandpa Finny's pickup truck. Rupert Roach, King Sookie, Snozbella, Madame Pork, Mr. Foxburg, Lady Grosselda, and Grandpa Finny followed my lead.

We all went straight into Craig Mammalton's mansion, which stood tall and proud amidst a small, dense forest. As the five of us entered the woods, Grandpa Finny told me to be careful. "There's a dangerous animal guarding the mansion that can eat us up in a flash if we don't look out. It's called the Nogogodoo, a big walking pufferfish that floats on top of the lake and chomps up anything that happens to get in its way, so you'd better hide if you get trapped by the pufferfish. We don't want to be trapped. We don't want to be eaten." said Grandpa Finny explained as he looked down to where the Nogogodoo lay asleep in a lazy stupor. He was pinker than The Pink Panther and had tiny spindly legs, and floppy hair. He looked very cute and was snacking on a small, black fish that he caught a few days ago. He wiggled his nose and then yawned.

"The Nogogodoo don't look so scary after all, I'll admit." replied Rupert Roach, and then he ran to join the rest of us. "We can use some of your secret herbs to protect us from its pufferfish poison, so let's not forget about them." said Rupert, before I could explain to him that the herbs he was referring to were not actually secret, but rather, a plant called, 'Peponium.'

We all watched as Rupert poured the green leafy herbs into a glass. "This is an herb called Peponium. It is very bitter, so I drink it with my meals. It'll help you survive the Nogogodoo." He told us, before we all started drinking it.

"Peponium!" Lady Grosselda blurted out, but then realized that she fucked up. The Nogogodoo stirred and woke from its afternoon siesta, and it looked up at us. Nothing happened for a few seconds, but eventually he rose to be over 9000 feet tall.  He was now bluer than Bluey and Blue from Blue's Clues combined. His teeth became sharp and wicked, his eyes turned yellow like a Simpson, and his hair became spiky like Spike's hair. Oh, no! I thought.

The Nogogodoo's eyes glowed like the full moon, and its fangs grew in size, so that they could easily bite and pierce any and every inch of our skin. The Nogogodoo was coming for us. Lady Grosselda turned to run.

"No!" cried Rupert. He didn't want Lady Grosselda to leave us, so he quickly grabbed her hand and held on to her.

The Nogogodoo then made a strange noise, which I'd describe as sounding like, "Woek-wom-oo." At first we assumed it was just a random noise, but as he continued doing it, we realized that he was indeed making a very creepy noise.

"Woek-wom-oo! Woek-wom-oo! Woek-wom-oo!" cried The Nogogodoo, as it made a leap toward us. "Woek-wom-oo! Woek-wom-oo! Woek-wom-oo!" it repeated.

"The Nogogodoo is coming!" yelled Rupert, as the Nogogodoo made its leap toward us.

"Let's get out of here," said Lady Grosselda, as she looked up and saw the Nogogodoo coming for us. She picked up a large stone and threw it as hard as she could at the Nogogodoo, who had already moved toward us. But it did nothing to it.

Suddenly, The Nogogodoo grabbed me with his immense strength, and lifted me high up into the air. "Woek-wom-oo!" The Nogogodoo laughed evilly as he began crushing me to death with his downright smelly tail. "Hey!" I could hear Snozbella yell as she then continued with, "look out for that bowling shoe!" "Huh?" The Nogogodoo asked as he turned around to see a large brown bowling shoe coming for his face. The shoe caught The Nogogodoo right in his head, and caused him to drop me. The Nogogodoo meanwhile began falling dancing for some reason while screaming, "nooooooooo!" He then fell to the floor in a massive thump, and somehow this caused him to return to his original form.

"Well, this is no time to talk. We've got to get out of here!" said Mr. Foxburg as we began running into the building.  

"Lady Grosselda, is the elevator here?" Grandpa Finny asked as we ran toward the place the elevator is.

"It's in the back, in the storage room. We need to get there now!"

As we were running to the back of the building. And what could I do? I had no choice but to be carried along by my friends.

Soon we made it to the back of the building, and Lady Grosselda led us to the storage room.

"Hurry, they're right on our heels!" said Madame Pork as we reached the elevator. Inside the elevator, we found it strange that the machine just wouldn't budge and King Sookie pressed the emergency button. That's when purple gas emerged from the air vents causing us to all pass out onto the floor. Thankfully, we all passed out onto Lady Grosselda's belly because if she passed out onto us I'm pretty sure that we would be dead.

We awoke a couple hours later after in a daze. "Oh did you hurt yourself?" A voice asked as none other than Fat E. Dick revealed himself to us.

"Fat E.? Fat E. Dick?" I asked dumbfounded as I discovered that me and my friends were chained to the ceiling.

"That's right bitch!" said Fat E. Dick. "You thought you could just run away from me didn't you?"

"Nooooo, how did you-"

"Silence! listen a moment. For five years I wanted to be the leader of this crew, but I kept this inside. Now, I am finally the leader of something, and I will be the best one for them. And by being the best, I will eliminate you, and by that way they will keep me forever. Mwahahahahahahaha!"

And at that moment Fat E. Dick just laughed to his satisfaction, Craig Mammalton came from the shadows.

"Do you know what happens when you challenge our supreme ruler?" Craig Mammalton asked.

"We never know, I suppose, but I'm just not sure that I care," I said.

"Mwahahaha!" said Fat E. Dick as he laughed like an insane and giggled in delight. "Oh you will care, because, like it or not, you and the other little bastards are my slaves now. That's why I'm giving you another chance to show that you are the best."

"Oh and by the way, Fat E. Dick and I have managed to catch your LITTLE FRIEND!"

I was horrified when I saw Fingers. He was all tied up.

Fingers was crying uncontrollably when he saw me. His fists were clamped. It was just the most painful scene.

I started to feel pity for him, but just as I was about to start untying him, Craig shouted, "No, not that one! The one over there. I'm sure you're scared of what will happen to you if you're with the one you saw today!"

I saw Fat E. Dick's face. It was the most evil expression I'd ever seen in my life.

"Craig! It's time to do your job and kill all of these pathetic little bastards."

Craig then pulled out his flamethrower and point it at us. I had just a few seconds to decide what I should do.

"If you hurt Fingers I'll kill you!"

He didn't hesitate. He was already aiming the weapon at us.

"Don't think I won't do it. I have a whole lot of explosives strapped to my body. There are hundreds of tons of dynamite behind my back. When I'm ready, I will set off a whole bunch of explosives at once. A whole freaking city will be gone. Then all the prisoners, that you're going to be my slaves, will be killed by the blast. You are my fucking slaves now, so if you don't do what I tell you, you're gonna die!"

When he was about to fired his flamethrower, someone poured acid on him and Fat E. Dick which they began to melt very fast as the acid was eating the flesh off of them, We all just smiled coolly and watched them die, it lasted for 6 seconds until they were nothing but a burning acid pile on the floor.

We looked at each other and I said, "Wow, who just saved all our lives?" We looked up and saw who saved us. They were Sam and Max.

"Jumping jellyfish on a sardine sandwich we finally got them Max!" Sam proclaimed happily. You see, as it turns out my grandpa was right, we were a little bit like heroes. After they dragged the bodies away and cleaned the blood off of the floor, the warden ordered a big celebration to take place. Madame Pork and Lady Grosselda were in charge of cooking, King Sookie Stackhouse ordered Grandpa Finny to prepare a huge sum of food. Mr. Foxburg was in charge of all the supplies. There was enough food for everyone. There was enough food to feed a whole army. There was enough food to feed even a nation. Everyone was stuffed and satisfied, and we weren't going anywhere.

There was even a band that played "He's a Dirty Kid" by The Cramps. Everybody was dancing. And eating. Eating, eating, eating, then dancing some more, eating some more, and dancing some more, Snozbella finally kissed me. It was a great kiss, and I was no longer a Pest Control exterminator, I was now a hip and cool DJ with purple clothes. (I used to be naked by the way.) I made everyone get the cake that was waiting to be eaten. The cake was a special cake called "The Pecan Pie." It was filled with all kinds of nuts and fruit, and when you cut into the middle of the cake it was really filled with custard. Everyone loved my cake. Then Rupert Roach ran in with a guitar and sang "Sugar Walls," which I was also DJing at that point. Everyone was singing.

The end was at hand, for that is the end of all fun, which in my eyes was the most interesting party of all time. And I was about to make good on my promise to myself.

Now you may be wondering where the bootleg is now? Well, I just passed the game back to Fingers and he moved it to Shity City. It's safe and sound, with a new owner who looked like Ned Flanders.

I hope you enjoyed my story. This was not how I expected this book to end, but I just remembered that I had better say good-bye. Good night.

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