CJayMarch Wiki


The Police

Created by TailsDoller2, Hewkii and Devonte

Contains spoilers of Persona 4 Golden.


Ahahahaha! It's you!

My Friend

My name is Count , and you know that movie called Nosferatu?


Well, someone made a fucking weird movie out of it.

I went to the Toy Story Ü universe to visit Mr. Potato Head. Don't ask how, it's a secret!

"Sup, sharpteethy" he said.

"Hey, I told you I don't like that nickname!" I said a bit pissed off.

"I'm just messing with ya! Let's see the movie!" he said, and we went to the living room.

He pulled out a tape that said "Nosferatu: The Dark Moon".

"Hey, that looks off" I said.

"What do you mean? This movie is completely "normal"" he said.

"Normal? It sounds like a gory parody with vampires!" I said.

"Trust me. It's scary, but normal" Mr. Potato head said.

"Aaaaalright. Let's just watch it" I said.

The movie started with the inital credits, and then it showed Nosferatu coming out of his coffin.

But unfortunately, the fucking Angry Sun from Super Mario Bros 3 BLASTED at the fucking coffin, making him burn.

He was screaming and rolling over the floor, trying to stop the flames, but it wasn't doing any effect.

Fortunately, a goon splashed him with a bucket of blood, stopping the flames and shot the sun with a glock.

That was really weird, why was a Mario character here?

Just when we thought it couldn't get it any weirder, fucking Patchy from Spongebob Squarepants appeared blasting through the wall with his cannon.

Instead of attacking, Nosferatu just screamed like a fucking banshee and tried to escape, but Potty, Patchy's parrot, appeared in his way.

"You ain't goin' anywhere!" he said, and Patchy rammed into the vampire, putting him into the cannon and shotting him. He kept flying for a minute until he crashed into the sea.

After that, the screen went black and the "Graveyard shift" title card from Spongebob appeared on screen.

I guessed this explains how he got in the episode.

The episode started with Mr. Krabs telling Spongebob and Squidward that they were working tonight. Spongebob was happy, but Squidward said "this is complete *dolphin noise censoring the swear*"

"MR. SQUIDWARD! I should scrub soap on that sailor's tounge!" Mr. Krabs said, angry.

This was actually based on a meme, btw.


"Not cool squidward, don't say that again" said Broly from Dragon fucking Ball.

Also, this was an edit on the previous edited meme.

Broly was actually drawn in Spongebob's style, which was fitting, I guess.

The episode was normal after that, with the addition of Broly, of course.

When Squidward ordered Spongebob to throw the trash, he was scared, so he asked Broly to throw the trash out.

Everything was like the original episode, until Nosferatu appeared on screen, but instead of smiling, he said "THERE'S AN IMPOSTOR AMONG US!"

"Who is it?" Spongebob shouted.

"It isn't me!" Squidward said.

"Maybe it's this new fish!" Broly said.

"Uhh..." said Nosferatu.

We then see-

For fuck’s sake, what the hell.

We then see Kyle and Stan from South Park.

For some reason they were driving a car, even tho they are way too young.

Stan pulled out a PlayStation fucking Vista and started playing Uncharted: Golden Abyss.

Stan threw a fucking tantrum out of nowhere and threw the console out of the window.

"Dude, why the fuck did you do that?" Kyle said.

"That game jumpscared me!" said Stan.

"Couldn't you just scream?" asked Kyle.

"NO!" screamed Stan.

The police suddenly appeared and started chasing them.

"Look what you caused" Kyle said.

"You know what? Cartman was right, your mom is a FAT BITCH!" screamed Stan.

"THAT'S FUCKING IT!" said Kyle, as he got off his seat and jumped at Stan, beating him up.

The car then started flying for no fucking reason and activated the turbo, making it faster.

It then fell on the ocean and crashed in the Krusty Krab, just in the new fish.

"HOLY SHIT!" screamed Broly.

Kyle and Stan came out of the car.

"Who the fuck are you?" asked Squidward.

"Where the fuck are we?" asked Stan and Kyle.

An evil laugh could be heard. The fish took the car off him and laughed like an evillord.

"It was YOU!" Spongebob said.

A light shrouded the fish, and it turned out it wasn't a fish.

It was Anonymous from 4chan. He was a green human male with a black suit with a red tie, and a question mark on his face.

"Oh, it's you..." Nosferatu said.

"You know this ugly-looking hoe?" Broly said.

"Buddy, i'm more handsome than you" Anon said.

"Seriously? You look like the wife of the Mask and The Riddler had a son" Spongebob said.

"Shut up, FuckBob, at least I get laid" Anon said.

"Seriously? You fucking bone ponies, you are fucking sick" Spongebob replied.

"Enough of this bullshit, I'm here to destroy you, Nosferatu!" Anon said.

"Not if I have to say something about it!" said Nosferatu, and started a fight.

Nosferatu had advantage at first because he was a vampire, but Anon turned out to be tougher than expected.

"Shouldn't we help?" asked Broly.

"Nope, I can do this" Nosferatu said, but Anon suddenly pulled out a cross, making Nosferatu scream in pain.

Broly then ran into Anon to punch him, but he stopped the fist with his own palm.

Out of fucking nowhere a portal opened, and Rebecca Doodles came from it.

"I finally found you!" said Rebecca.

"Fuck you! I'm outta here!" said Anon, and he escaped.

"No! We lost him!" Stan said.

"Ok, what the actual fuck just happened?" asked Kyle.


"Yes it is" he said.

"Aren't you fucking phased by what we just saw?" I asked him.

"Nope" he said.

"Whatever. Let's just watch this crap" I said.

Suddenly, Chase from fucking FGTEEV appeared out of nowhere.

What the HELL? Chase was supposed to be born in 2011, what was he doing here? Not to mention he was animated.


Broly grabbed him and threw him out of the restaurant.

"Ok, so what do we do now?" Rebecca said.

"We should ask Sandy help, she could be able to track Anon" Spongebob said.

"Better do it tomorrow, it's 4:00 am and I need some sleep" said Squidward.

Spongebob went with Kyle, Stan and Nosferatu, while Squidward went with Broly and Rebecca.

Nosferatu was sleeping in the couch with Stan and Kyle when the screen zoomed him and we could saw his dream.

He was in... the fucking Velvet Room from Persona 4 Golden.

Seriously, did even Atlus and Nickelodeon agree to do this?

"Welcome, peculiar wanderer" said Igor.

"Who are you? Why i'm here?" asked Nosferatu.

"My name is Igor, and this is the Velvet Room" he said.

"All of this feels real, but at the same time not..." Nosfe said.

"It seems that your life has changed a lot..." Igor said.

"Yes, and now I'm in a situation with no escape..." said Nosfe.

"I feel like you will find your path" said Igor, and Nosferatu woke up from his "dream".

The next day, Spongebob got a fish suit for Nosfe and the humans and went to tell Sandy what was going on.

She said she would build a machine to track Anon. Fortunately there was fottage of him in the Krusty Krab cameras, which Spongebob had to delete so no one would find it out.

Spongey, Nosfe and Patrick went to the BragOMart and went to the electronics aisle.

"Hmm... I may need to buy a new TV, my current one ain't working properly" Spongebob said.

Suddenly, a random TV started emiting a strange glow.

"Do TV's do that?" Nosfe said.

"Nope..." Spongebob said.

Nosfe got closer to the TV and it sucked them both inside it.

They woke up in... the fucking TV World Hub from Persona 4.

Wow, so this is gonna be a P4G parody? Fuckin-tastic...

"WHAT IS HAPPENING" screamed Patrick

"Calm down, buddy, there might be an explanation to this" Spongebob said, as they walked around the place.

They got back to the Hub when The Flying Dutchman appeared behind them.

"The hell are you guys doing here?" he asked.

"The same question goes for you. What is this place?" asked Spongebob

"That's not ur business. Some fucker has been throwing people here. Get the fuck outta here" Dutch said, as he summoned some TV's and they got back to Bikkini Bottom.

"That was weird" Nosfe said.

Next day, some reports of a deceased student of Mrs. Puff's Boating School were aired, schoking everyone. This was just like P4G

"Ok, some weird shit is going on, so we have to go back to that weird place" Nosferatu said.

They went to the Brag-o-Mart and only Sponge and Nosfe got insde the TV while Patrick hold his pal with a rope that cut itself later on.

In the TV World, Dutch explained that was his home now and he needed both to defeat Shadows so he gave them glasses to clear the fog.

They passed through a liquor store and some weirdass creatures came out of it.

Nosferatu then began to glow and Alucard from Castlevania came out of him.

The battle began. Nosfe used his newfound Persona and a baseball bat to beat the Shadows.

They went inside the shop and explored the place. Suddenly...

"Hehe... I'm so pathetic" said a voice that sounded like Spongebob, but more distorted.

"Who the hell said that?!" they said, and turned they backs to see a clone of Spongebob with golden eyes and a dark aura.

"Your life is a lie. You keep thinking yourself you can make everyone happy, but you just hurt others. Always putting a smile in your job, without beign paid a single penny..."said Other Spongebob


"So be it" Other Sponge said, as he transformed into a japanase Gordom Ramsey.

Nosferatu fought him.

After the fight...

"You are part of me. I have to accept that I'm hurting people instead of pleasing them, and even if there isnt much physical reward for my job, I'll still enjoy it" he said to his Shadow, as he became his Persona.

They got out of the TV World