Does anyone remember the 1970s Hanna-Barbera TV adaptation of Toho's Godzilla? It was a great show featuring a lizard king, and his son named, Godzuki. But there is a lost episode of that 300 ft dino dropping that scared my Charolettesville coffee mugs away.
Anyway, let me tell you about myself. I'm a singer of a sellout punk rock band, Ronaldos. My stage name is Alf McDonalds. My bandmates are Trumpwax; who is a guitarist, and Shreck LaCannonpen; the drummer. We signed to Geffen Records, made 24 singles, 7 studio albums, had 2 Grammy nominations, and our recent one is now a rap album with guest stars such as Limp Bizkit, Nickelback, Vannila Ice, Soulja Boy, and Li'l Wayne. We recorded it for 15 days like Buckcherry, and released it to the public. Me and the bandmates knew it was a great success. Why am I telling you it was a great success? Because I'm a fucking rockstar, and I am passionate about my work!
So one day, I was on stage, and Uncle Phil came up to me, and instead of giving me an autograph, he was so pissed off that he asked why I sold out. I replied, "I never sold out. I'm a musician, I work for mon- I mean, music." A lot of people were throwing objects at me, and one of them... well, I actually found a VHS copy of one of my favorite gems to ever hit my childhoods. Yay. It was "Godzilla: The Animated HB Series: The Lost Episode" written in sharpee. The one who threw the VHS tape said, "Dicks out for Ronaldos!" and eventually, we stopped the show!
We took the limo to our mansion, but something big was following us, knocking on bushes and houses, everything; but we paid no attention to it. So we got there, and the same monster that was chasing after us, walked away.
I put the tape on. I am a fan of the lost episode library. I owned the lost episode of Seinfeld, The Price is Right, Siskel and Ebert, WWF Wrestling, Rugrats, and many more lost episodes. But this one was truly shocking.
We open up with Godzilla drinking Mountain Dew and eating Doritos. Funny, they're promoting and sponsoring both Mountain Dew and Doritos in this episode? Anyway, Godzuki comes in all nervous. He looks like he wants to vomit. Godzuki screams bloody murder and then terrorizes the city. He then grabs the plane and crashes it to the twin towers, predicting the 9/11 attacks! That gave a shiver down my spine.
Godzilla roars with a subtitle saying, "Ronaldos isn't even a punk rock band." Wait, are they talking about my band? My band? I thought this cartoon was made in the '70s, so maybe it was a sati- Oh no! They are talking about my band!
Godzuki roars by saying, "By the way, we are the lizards." As their eyelids become pupils. After that, the VCR suddenly explodes! I got scared. I tried to contact the police, and tried to hug my stuffed teddy bear, Chesterton, to feel my own emotions.
Then I heard a knock on my door... who could it be...
Godzilla was there. He breathed tacos to my house, and I was wrapped in a torrtia. Then, Comic Sans "The Man" Hernandez stops by, and gives me a knuckle sandwich, and to top it off... George Jetson enters the room and says, "Let me finish it by teabagging, you wannabe tryhard talentless Super Mario gangsta!" And that's when George Jetson teabagged me.
Keep in mind, all of these were my audience members when I did touring onstage. Thanks a lot, President Godzilla.