My name is Dr. Daniel T. Wilson. The date is October 23rd, 2010. I am a professor of Egyptology, and had discovered how people claimed that cats are quote-on-quote, "Taking over the world", and why they try to make their beliefs a reality. I thought it was insanity, but found out... It was something much, much worse.
We live in an interesting time because of our internet culture, don't we?
Most of us just go online for cat or dog videos, but then there's a group of people we're all too familiar with: those who just say, "Cats are not fluffy balls of goodness, they are murdering, evil monsters, and the obsession with them needs to stop!"
Admit it, we've all come across these people, and they're both PAINS in the ass.
Extremist trolls looking to get attention by pissing people off, and extremist crybabies looking to get attention by acting like everything "Feline" is an insult. We usually shrug or laugh them off and then go on with our lives.
But the combination of the two extremes has led to an interesting issue being addressed: movies and television.
If you think women and ethnic minorities get a raw deal in the movies? Then that's nothing compared to the way cinema discriminates against cats. Dogs are waggy-tailed brown-nosers who save children from drowning; cats are stuck-up, psychotic and about as trustworthy as a 1940s film noir femme fatale. Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore is only the latest example of Hollywood's insidious anti-feline agenda. It's a slight advance on the first Cats & Dogs film in that, this time, not all the cats are wicked. But the villain who wants to take over the world is a cat, and the psycho in Hannibal Lecter restraints is a cat. Film-makers love dogs, we all know that. But what have they got against cats?
It's true, there's a sprinkling of films in which cats play heroic roles, but you have to forage for them. Courageous cats confront The Mummy, save Drew Barrymore from a troll in Cat's Eye, and stake out succubus Alice Krige in Sleepwalkers. They act cute and canny in That Darn Cat and The Aristocats, but Disney undercuts its pro-puss stance with those mean Siamese in Lady and the Tramp and Lucifer in Cinderella, one of countless kiddy films in which rodents are depicted as preferable to cats. It's perfectly natural, not to mention hygienic, in a household with a child in it that Snowbell should want to eat Stuart Little, but does he get any thanks for it?
I personally think this "anti-feline agenda" is kind of baffling, it's like some horrible remnant of an age that should've died out long ago. But, like Racism, it always manages to find you a Denny's come up and say: "Y'all n****s all racist right?"
(As if the existence of "White Trash" somehow negates slavery and we're all honky-dory.)
So, what can the Horror Genre tell us about our little problem? Quite a lot actually.
Ironically, despite often having "Cat Jump Scares" themselves, horror films are often the loudest decriers of just about anything society deems unpleasant and upsetting.
You see, horror movies work by trying to get as close to the raw cultural nerve as possible, by taking advantage of society's fears and anxieties, particularly those of the times that they're made. And like Nostalgia Critic once said about offensive jokes: Somebody's pride has to be challenged in order for it to work.
As a result, there was great anxiety over feline empowerment, combine this with the horrific images people were seeing coming out of Pearl Harbor, as something would happen, that would change horror films, forever...
In 1966, a mentally unbalanced man is obsessed with the idea that a black cat is possessed, so he tortures and kills it. Later, he comes to believe that the cat has returned from the dead to kill him.
Riffing aside, this is the point where everything in horror movies changes. Previously, cats in films are the evil mastermind that tries to take over the world. But The Black Cat, directed by Harold Hoffman, changes all of it. Now their either; the killers themselves, or victims of the monster.
So, what the hell can I say about "Cats & Dogs"? It’s from the same director of Son of the Mask. That explains a lot, doesn’t it? While it’s nowhere near as bad as that film, you do see its paw prints all over it. The awkward comedy mixed with confused direction combined with pointless sounds and inconsistent effects. It’s not a good flick, which is a shame, because it is kind of a funny idea with funny possibilities. But as cat or dog vomit goes, this isn’t one I’m looking forward to cleaning up anytime soon.
But this begs the question: When Does a Cliché Go Too Far?
Well, the answer is right in front of us this whole time. Cat Abuse, is just absolutely... Terrifying.
But... Maybe there's an answer to this Anti-Feline Agenda, and how this can be prevented. How you may ask? Well, the answer... Is in Egypt. An ancient Egyptian being none the less, by the name of Bast.
In early times Bast (or Bastet, whatever you want to call her) was a goddess with the head of a lion or a desert sand-cat and was regarded as mother of Maahes, a lion-headed god, and wife to Ptah. She was usually depicted as a cat, or as a woman with the head of a cat or lion. She was also connected to Hathor, Sekhmet, Tefnut and Mut. Bast was considered to be the daughter of Atem or Ra. It was only in the New Kingdom that she gained the head of a house cat and became a much more 'friendly' goddess, though she was still depicted as a lion-headed woman to show her war-like side. As with Hathor, Bast is often seen carrying a sistrum.
Her name has the hieroglyph of a 'bas'-jar with the feminine ending of 't', reading 'She of the bas-Jar'. Apparently her name was written as 'Bastet' by scribes in later times to emphasize that the 't' was to be pronounced, but this is unclear. These jars were heavy perfume jars, often filled with expensive perfumes - they were very valuable in Egypt, considering the Egyptian need (with the hot weather) of makeup, bathing, hygiene and, of course, perfume. Bast, by her name, seems to be related to perfumes in some way - a perfumed protector, as it were. Her son Nefertem, a solar god, was a god of perfumes and alchemy, which supports the theory.
Now there is some confusion over Bast and Sekhmet. She is given the title the 'Eye of Ra' when she's in her protector form... but Bast and Sekhmet are not the same goddess (unlike Hathor who becomes Sekhmet as the 'Eye of Ra').
The statue of Bast as a sand-cat, this all gives rise to a lot of confusion about these goddesses. Bast and Sekhmet were another example of Egyptian duality - Sekhmet was a goddess of Upper Egypt, Bast of Lower Egypt (just like the pharaoh was of Upper and/or Lower Egypt). And they were linked together by geography, not by myth or legend.
These two feline goddesses were both very distinct goddesses in their own rights, despite the below phrase, used rather late in Egyptian history (c. 150 BC).
The truth of the matter is; the Anti-Feline Agenda is nothing more than warning signs that Bast is going to die, because of the people's lack of faith.
First of all; Deities were envisioned as a form of existence after rebirth, for human beings who gain merit through an ethical life, where they become guardian deities and live blissfully in heaven. But are also subject to death, when their merit is lost.
I think what started this whole thing was the duality of Bast and Sekhmet. For instance; we all know Anubis, right? Well, never the less, there is something that has been hidden from public eyes. And that is the love affair of Anubis, and Sekhmet. Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but hear me out.
It's pretty obvious that many fan fictions have met our eyes for what felt like decades, but nothing can be near the truth than this. I found this image on Pinterest, labeled Dark Desire. It could've been that Bast had some sort of love/hate relationship with Anubis (Yeah, I know right?), and if she found out, she'll be crushed. And when she did found out, she was hysterical, almost to the point of a nervous breakdown. And to be honest... I don't blame her one bit.
I know a lot of people go through this kind of stuff, and it's gut-wrenching to have to live with it for the rest of your life. I mean think about it; you have the love of your life (or the bitter rival on other occasions), and not knowing that your crush is keeping secrets behind your back for centuries. Only to find out the truth and see your lover with another woman. Heart breaking and infuriating, I know.
Now, before you go typing in the comments saying that Anubis is a tramp or a gold digger, let me remind you about OUR mistakes.
When you picture abuse, it probably involves primarily physical violence. However, abuse can take many forms, and not all of them have obvious physical signs. In order to spot cat abuse, you must make sure that you can identify the signs of cat abuse, and that you understand the different kinds of abuse that are possible.
But it's not just cat abuse, it's what hides inside the deepest core of the internet; for instance, a webpage titled YoungPost has an article about cats under the name, 13 reasons why cats are just plain evil. It describes cats in the most disgusting and infuriating ways possible, showing us that humans are just as disturbing and cruel than how Hollywood describe cats in those "Cats & Dog" films.
Why them? Why are we doing that to all of them? Simple. The list of evidence I described seemed to split in half as we failed to hear a deep, loud voice echoing through the back of our minds. An imposing voice that could only be described as elegant and ancient.
It says: You're dishonest, and ungrateful! And it really is a shame that the children of this earth should want to be the same! Behold, I'll save my children from such a fate, I'll take away their nine lives so they'll be with me in peace.
And ever since, cats died one-by-one from germs, toxins, injuries, and catastrophes. I can't tell you enough on how it turned from cartoonish gags and "evil cat clichés", into an all-out war between man and the fantastic and Ancient forces of a lost age. The damage, for all in debt, has already been done. I don't know why people struggle, it's already been done. We failed as men, we failed as women, and most of all... We failed as believers.
It's sad that cats don't get what they deserve, and it's because of our lack of faith in one loving and caring Deity. I know people sometimes take the phrase "Goodbye cruel world" as a running gag for most movies or TV shows, but I take that seriously. Because Bast is dying very quickly, and with your support, we might revive her again. We can't live in a world without her love, and the little bundles of joy she gave us. It's really, really critical.
But, recently, I found an article about a temple found in Egypt, claiming it to be Bast's Temple.
This proves that I did not imagine or dream it.
Now people just see me as one of those homeless people with signs that say "The End is Near" and some other crap. If you don't believe me, take a good look at the evidence I showed you, take a good look, and tell me that I'm crazy. Dig a little deeper, go even further beyond, and see what Egypt's Ancient Ruins has in store for you. And you'll know.
You'll know, that we're currently living in a world. We're we serve, a dead goddess.